Not If I Gave You Mine First
by StreepMirrenHargitay
Summary: He promised and he never goes back on a promise. Olivia needs a kidney and it's her lucky day. Rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Pretty nervous about this, my first publishable fic (I have others in the wings,waiting) so I dunno what you guys will think of it. It's a oneshot at the moment but if you want me to write more I can see what I can do. Please rate and review :) And I tried to research as much of the medical stuff as possible but I guess some artistic licence has to be taken ;)**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf**

Olivia's dark ponytail swished infront of him as they ran through the corridors of the abandoned hospital. As they turned yet another corner, Nick spotted a number of armed police entering from the opposite end of the corridor, beyond his partner's running form. Suddenly she stopped at the entrance to a ward and stood flush with the wall, gun drawn and making hand gestures to the armed officer opposite her. On the nod of his head she turned into the ward and crept towards a bed at the end of the room. Allowing the officers to enter first, Nick brought up the rear, rechecking the empty bays for their perp. As he turned toward the end of the room, a single gunshot echoed around the corridors and reverberated around the room. Nick heard a thump as a body hit the linoleum floor followed by the ear-shattering clatter as a full magazine clip was released into their perp. He immediately ran towards the bay from which his partner had been flung back from and kneeled beside her as she lay in a growing pool of dark blood, clutching her side and groaning in pain. The armed officers that had entered with them backed away from the pair, one radioing for the ambulance and another disarming the now dead criminal they had spent the last hour chasing across the lower east side.

Everything blurred around him. Paramedics arrived and bandaged a pressure dressing around Olivia's middle before lifting her down to the ambulance. Outside the building, Nick was met by Cragen and the other detectives. Nodding to his Captain, Nick shed his bulletproof vest and jumped into the back of the ambulance which proceeded to speed away, lights and sirens blaring across the wasteland and disappearing back into the city.

Nick was sat across from his partner's pale body as the paramedic tried to stem the flow of blood. All he could do was watch the heart monitor and pray she was as strong as she claimed to be. His own heart stopped as a monotonous beep sounded and the paramedic tore her blue blouse apart to start CPR whilst instructing Nick to keep pressure on her wound. She returned as they screeched to a halt outside the ER. A number of nurses were stood waiting for her arrival but Nick barely heard what anybody was saying as they took her away to an empty bay. Stood at the entrance with Olivia's blood soaked through his shirt he began to shiver. A nurse took his arm and led him to a quiet waiting room. She returned with a hot sweet tea and promised somebody would come over and talk to him as soon as they could. Nick nodded blankly and placed the tea down on the small table infront of him.

The images replayed across his mind as if they were being projected right infront of him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget the amount of blood pouring from the gunshot wound in his partner's side. Leaning forward he let his head fall into his hands and prayed. It was all he could think to do.

Eli's nose had been bleeding for the past hour and Kathy was worried. The doctors were closed so Elliot had been forced to take his son to the ER. Feeling like a fool he stepped up to the desk and explained his situation. Smiling knowingly, the nurse handed over a fresh box of tissues and said a doctor would be with them as soon as possible. It was a quiet night for once so Elliot easily found a seat and settled down with a men's health magazine whilst Eli was content with a Thomas book he had brought from home. After only twenty minutes of waiting, a young doctor came up to the pair and introduced herself as Dr Turnbull. She led Elliot and Eli to a private consultation room where she proceeded to examine Eli's nose.

"It appears a burst blood vessel is what has caused the nose bleed." Dr Turnbull stated. "Not uncommon with children Eli's age, he probably hit his nose whilst playing or something. I'll cauterise the vessel and prescribe some anti-inflammatory cream and he should be fine in a few hours." She smiled. Elliot sighed in relief as the doctor took them to another room.

Elliot was heading toward the entrance to the ER, promising Eli a big tub of chocolate ice-cream and his favourite Thomas DVD for being such a brave boy, when an ambulance pulled up outside and a number of nurses rushed past him with a bed. Deciding to wait until they had brought the patient through instead of pushing past the obviously frantic staff, Elliot pulled Eli onto his hip and allowed him to snuggle into his neck. However, Eli jerked awake as his father almost dropped him as the hospital gurney was rushed past them and Elliot saw who was lying on it. Even with her skin whiter than he had ever seen and her face turned away from him, Elliot couldn't mistake the immobile body of his partner speeding past him and heading into an empty bay. As the medics ran past he heard the end of their commentary:

"Blood type unknown but we need to find out NOW. I don't know how much she lost at the scene but she crashed on me in the bus. The bastard hit a vein so it's slow but steady."

Eli clawed at his father's shirt to get his attention and grumbled as he was placed down again. Elliot looked around frantically for someone he could leave him with. Having no other choice he ran up to the receptionist.

"Hi, I'm really sorry but can I leave my son with you? The woman they've just brought in, I know her and I need to see her now." The nurse looked around before nodding. "Thankyou so much." Elliot turned to his son who was looking dubiously at the smiling nurse. "Hey buddy y'see the woman that just went past?" Eli nodded and looked back at his father. "She's an old friend of mine and she really really needs me so can you be a good boy and sit with the nurse while I go help her? I'll be back as soon as I can." Eli looked nervously at the nurse again before turning back to his father's pleading eyes and nodding. "Thanks buddy." Elliot shouted as he followed Olivia's gurney down the corridor. About five bays in he found her bed, surrounded by nurses.

"We need that blood type NOW people. Somebody set up a transfusion with O positive for now. She's still losing." Elliot stepped up to most senior looking nurse.

"Excuse me?" the nurse turned and glared at Elliot, not pleased at being interrupted. Elliot, unfazed, carried on, "I used to work with her, she's A positive and I'm a match." The glare disappeared from the nurse's face and he grabbed Elliot's arm.

"We're taking her straight to the OR, Lisa will fix you up up there." He turned to another nurse, "Lisa! This guy matches. Set him up NOW and start testing." The nurse identified as Lisa nodded and led Elliot further along the corridor and into a small ante room.

"Change into these," she handed him a set of hospital scrubs, "and wash all the way past your elbows on both arms, then come through." She turned and pushed the door of the operating theatre open. After changing and washing his hands and arms, Elliot followed her. Lisa proceeded to take two syringes of blood and carry out a number of tests as she questioned Elliot's medical history. About three quarters of the way through, Olivia was pushed into the room and a number of machines were rigged up. Elliot was relieved to see she had stopped bleeding but under the stark white lights her skin was almost translucent and his heart leapt back into his throat. His bed was pushed closer to hers and a new tube was placed into his arm. On the other end of a complex machine, a matching tube was placed in Olivia's arm.

Throughout the surgery, Elliot watched as his blood left his arm, was processed in the machine and then pumped into Olivia's arm. Her skin was starting to lose its greasy translucent colour when a nurse came back over to him and started removing the tube.

"What's happening? She can't have been given enough blood yet?" Elliot panicked as the last of his blood left the machine and into Olivia's arm.

"I'm sorry sir but you can only donate a certain amount. Mrs Clarke lost a lot of blood and we are going to have to use donated blood from now on." Elliot was stunned and looked over to check he had just donated to the right person but it was no mistaking the strong cheekbones and shiny dark chocolate hair spread across the white pillow, this was Olivia. Swallowing and realising this wasn't the place or person to ask about Olivia's name change, Elliot nodded and moved to get up from the bed. Looking up at the clock, he realised he had been in the room for nearly forty minutes and completely forgotten about Eli. Swearing under his breath he made to leave the room when he heard the lead nurse behind him.

"Sir?" he turned to face her and she continued although he was not really concentrating on what she was saying. He heard snippets as his mind raced with how he was going to explain this all to Kathy. However he suddenly stopped still and stared straight at the nurse who faltered beneath it.

"Say that again." The nurse cleared his throat before repeating his last sentence.

"The surgeon says her left kidney has ruptured beyond repair and her right one is too badly damaged to function properly. You're a blood match so he wanted to know if you would be willing to donate a kidney. We've sent somebody down to the store but there's no guarantee there will be a donation, even for a fast track patient." Elliot didn't even blink before he answered.

"But I need to call my wife. My son is still downstairs and wondering where I am." The nurse nodded before returning to the table and informing the surgeon of Elliot's decision. Elliot meanwhile was out in the corridor ringing Kathy. She picked up on the fourth ring.

"Hey babe what's happened? You've been gone nearly two hours, your tea's gonna be dry by the time you get back-" she was interrupted by Elliot's hurried explanation of what had happened. He was too busy explaining to hear her resigned sigh when he said Olivia's name.

"So basically I need you or Maureen to come and pick up Eli cos I'm about to go back in and donate a kidney-" it was Elliot how was interrupted this time by Kathy's exclamation.

"WHAT?! A kidney? Are you sure Elliot, you haven't seen this woman in what? Two and a half years and suddenly you're dropping everything to give her a kidney?" Elliot sighed,

"Kath it isn't like that." Kathy snorted. "I'm not dropping everything; it was purely by chance that I was here. In fact, as I recall it was you who sent me to the ER with Eli…" he trailed off as he was met by silence on the other end and silently cursed, knowing he had pushed her. Therefore he was surprised and beyond relieved with his wife's reply.

"Okay El, I'll come pick Eli up."

"Thankyou Kathy. I love you, please don't forget that." He heard Kathy sigh.

"I know Elliot, I love you too." She hung up and Elliot ran down the corridor towards the front desk, he didn't know how long he had before they needed him and he knew Eli wouldn't be pleased at being left again. Therefore he was pleasantly surprised to find his son curled up in an armchair fast asleep.

"I can't thank you enough," Elliot told the nurse, "they're taking me into surgery now for an emergency transplant but his Mom should be in in about half an hour to pick him up. She's blonde, about five seven with blue eyes." The nurse nodded.

"Honestly, he's been no problem, slipped off about ten minutes after you left. I'll watch out for his mom." Elliot thanked her again before racing back up the corridor. He missed the man sitting with his head in his hands in a private waiting room but the man didn't miss him.

Nick had been sat for nearly an hour in the same position. The tea had long gone cold and undrunk and still nobody had arrived to tell him what was happening. He heard the man race past on his way to the entrance hall and then, five minutes later, race back up the corridor. He instantly resented this man, who obviously had a purpose, a job to do, while he was sat helpless as his partner bled out on an operating table. He sat up, leant back in the chair and tried to shake such pessimistic thoughts from his head but years in narcotics, being forced to watch innocent victims bleed out on the streets, made it hard for him to think anything but the worst.

He was pleasantly surprised when his Captain appeared at the door and knocked. Not bothering to reply, Cragen proceeded to walk into the empty room and sit next to Nick. He was the first to break the silence.

"The others would have come along but they didn't want to crowd Liv and anyway, somebody's got to hold up the fort." He glanced across at Nick but the detective was fixed on a spot on the wall opposite. "Have you heard anything?" Nick tore his gaze down to the floor and shook his head.

"I saw them wheel her past to the operating theatre about forty minutes ago but that's it." Cragen squeezed Nick's shoulder.

"These things take time son, she'll pull through. She's Olivia." Nick nodded his agreement before returning his gaze to the wall.

It was almost three hours later when the surgeon walked into the room and found the pair in the same positions. One staring at the wall and other leaning back with his eyes closed. Neither noticed her entrance so she coughed slightly to get their attentions.

"Hello, my name is Dr Beadle and I operated on Mrs Clarke. Has anybody been to speak to you yet?" Both men shook their heads. Dr Beadle frowned. "Are either of you family or a spouse?" Again both men shook their heads. "Ah, well there isn't much I can tell you until a member of her family or her spouse arrives I'm afraid." Dr Beadle got up to leave but was stopped by Nick's hold on her lower arm.

"Please? I'm her partner. I was there when she was shot. Just tell me, will she make it?" Dr Beadle looked at his pleading eyes and relented. She had seen the badge on his belt and had already guessed if he wasn't Olivia's husband, he was probably her partner.  
"Fortunately we managed to find a live transfusion before reverting to stored blood so most of the blood she lost has now been replaced. We were also very very fortunate to have a willing kidney donor practically walk into my operating theatre. Following a check-up in about half an hour I'll be able to tell you how she is responding to the new organ but as far as I could tell she was doing well. So long as there are no complications and she doesn't reject the new kidney, I expect her to make a full recovery. I'll come and get you in half an hour and if she's awake and willing you can see her." Nick smiled gratefully at the doctor and relaxed back into his chair. Cragen however frowned and stood to follow the doctor out. At the last minute he turned back to Nick,

"Call the others, tell them she'll be fine or they won't get any work done." Nick smiled and took out his cell to call the squad room.

Outside in the corridor, Cragen caught up with Dr Beadle.

"Excuse me, I have a few more questions." Dr Beadle looked apologetically at him.

"I'm sorry sir but I really can't tell you any more until a family member or spouse is present."  
"I've know her for more than fifteen years, I'm practically her father, please can you just answer my questions?" Dr Beadle looked into Cragen's eyes before nodding her consent. "Thankyou. I was just wondering who the donor was? It sounds too good to be true?" Beadle laughed.

"I thought it was too good to be true," she paused before deciding to continue, she knew he would want to know this, "we almost lost her in the ambulance and again on the table. For about half an hour the dialysis machine was the only thing keeping her alive while I tried to stitch up the rest of her. Then the man who had given blood agreed to donate a kidney. I know it's unusual and normally I would have had to stitch her up and keep her on dialysis until a transplant came through. But this guy was more than willing and ready to go immediately. I don't believe in God or anything, how could I in this job?" Cragen nodded knowingly, "But he was definitely looking down on Mrs Clarke today when he sent that man into the ER."

"What was he called?" Dr Beadle checked her file.

"Stabler. A Mr Elliot Stabler. He seemed to know quite a bit about her medical history, specifically her blood type, which probably saved her life if I'm honest. If we had had to wait for the stored stuff to be brought up we may well have lost her on the table. Do you know him?" the doctor asked as she took in Cragen's stunned expression.

"Errr yeah, he worked with us a few years back but left and we haven't seen him since." Dr Beadle nodded and turned back up the corridor to the ER entrance,

"Well like I said, she was very lucky today." She shouted behind her as Cragen turned back and walked into the waiting room where Nick was finishing explaining what had happened to the rest of the squad. After internally debating, Cragen decided not to tell Nick who Olivia's mystery donor was. He wasn't sure how much Liv had told Nick and therefore how Nick would react to Elliot's sudden reappearance in all their lives. Sinking back into the comfy seat, Cragen sighed heavily in relief before closing his eyes.

The first sense to return to her was the smell of disinfectant. This didn't surprise her as her last conscious, unblurred memory was of falling hard onto the floor as an intense pain shot across her abdomen. Therefore it was a safe assumption she had ended up in hospital. From then on memories swam into one another amid a pain and drug induced haze.

Secondly was the sound of the heart machine next to her bed. She sighed in relief as the constant bleep of her heart beat sounded throughout the room before mentally kicking herself. Of course she was alive otherwise she wouldn't have smelt disinfectant, she would have chosen a much nicer smell to awaken to, such as her mother's lavender shampoo that always sent her to sleep or freshly mown grass that told her summer was just around the corner or the cologne she had bought Elliot one year and he had insisted on wearing every day until it ran out…

The third and fourth senses to return were taste and touch. Although she couldn't taste much, her mouth was dry and her throat ached, the faint tang of iron still sat at the back of her throat and was enough to make her gag slightly. However this caused an intense pain in both her aching throat and all across her stomach as her muscles contracted. She let out a groan of pain and scrunched the tight sheets into her fists as she tried to ride out the pain. By taking shallow breaths she managed to ease the pain away until it was a dull ache beneath the surface rather than a sharp stab that was constantly present.

Finally, after returning her breathing to normal, Olivia decided she might aswell open her eyes. Although she had a pretty good idea of where she would be, having experienced many a hospital room during the course of her job, she might aswell see where she was staying for the foreseeable future. Squinting slightly at the change from relative darkness behind her eyelids to the stark white lights of her room, Olivia blinked a few times before opening her eyes fully and taking in the room around her. It was simply furnished with a sofa and small table beside the window. Turning her head to take in the other side of the room, Olivia gasped as her eyes fell on its other occupant.

Elliot had fallen asleep watching his old partner sleep peacefully. He had only been under a mild anaesthetic during the operation and so had woken long before her and since fallen back to sleep. A loud rustling roused him from his sleep and he opened his eyes to find Olivia's staring right back at him, her mouth a small 'o' in shock.

"Hey partner, I told you I'd give you a kidney." She continued to look at him in shock, not even blinking and he began to worry something had happened to her.

"If I wasn't in excruciating pain and basically bed ridden for the foreseeable future, I would kill you." Elliot laughed and a smirk pulled at Olivia's lips as she closed her eyes and sighed. This could not be happening. He could not be here, he could not have… Her eyes sprang open again and he looked back over to him. "What did you say?" Elliot frowned slightly before looking panicked and turning away. "El?" He turned back to her and gulped.

"How much do you know about what happened Liv?" Despite the seriousness of both their faces and voices, both internally smiled at how easily they had slipped into their nicknames for each other.

"I was shot and brought here…" she trailed away as she saw him sigh. "El? What the hell happened to me?"  
"I dunno if I should be telling you Liv, I don't want you to stress or anything while you're supposed to be recovering." Olivia tried to turn her body to face his but found herself unable to due to the huge amount of bandaging around her abdomen and the fact that even the slightest movement caused twinges of pain to race across her middle.

"Stabler, you damn well tell me what has happened or your life won't be worth living when we get out of here." She paused to assess what she had just said. "And what the hell are you even doing here, in a bed? It can't be a coincidence. Remember, there's no such thing as coincidence." He smiled as she remembered the advice someone had given them on one of their first jobs.

"Well it kinda has something to do with what happened to you." Elliot faltered again.

"Please Elliot, just tell me. What's happened?" Elliot looked across at her pleading eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure what happened at the scene but from what I overheard you were shot in the side and lost quite a bit of blood there. Then you crashed in the bus and again on the table." Elliot paused, knowing the next bit would be the hardest. "The doctor tried but your left kidney was shot to pieces and your right one was barely working due to the damage. I saw them bring you in and said I was a blood match. When they asked if I could donate a kidney well…" she remembered the conversation they had had years ago.

"Not if I gave you mine first." She let her head fall back onto her pillow and smiled as soft tears trailed don her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews guys, I know it sounds cliché but I didnt expect anyone to be interested in this. DetectiveObssessed, I've had the first chapter sitting on my computer for ages now, unfinished. But yeah, I saw something on Tumblr and it inspired me to finish it. Watching Choreographed again also helped haha.**

**Sorry it's been a few days, I hadn't planned on taking it further but now I have a story all set out and all I need to do is write it. I'm also working on another, longer, story and as always, there is school work :/ but hopefully I will be able to update quickly.**

**The next two chapters will be fillers but then we see some action. Thanks again :)**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

Olivia had quickly fallen back into a peaceful slumber and Elliot followed soon after, the soft rhythm of her breathing forcing his eyes to droop and his own breathing to match hers.

Quiet voices slowly roused him from his sleep and as he returned to consciousness he recognised the gruff tones of his former captain, intermittently joined by another deep voice he didn't recognise. As the final dregs of sleep left his system he realised they were discussing the shoot. Deciding he would hear more if they thought he was still sleeping, Elliot kept his eyes closed and his body still and relaxed.

"So you're in the corridor, Liv's worked out a plan of attack with SWAT," Nick nodded, looking over at his partner, "what the hell happened next?" Nick sighed and rubbed his chin before answering.

"Liv took the lead followed by SWAT and I took up the rear. Before I knew what was happening I hear a gunshot and Liv's on the floor. He gets shot by Captain Florell a few times but all I can see is the blood." Nick slumped forward and rested his forehead in his hands. "I shoulda been there. I shoulda had your back."

"Nick it's not your fault. I shouldn't have turned my back." Olivia sighed and scrunched her eyes closed before looking back at her captain. "As I came to the last set of bays, I heard a rustle. I turned to look and he hit me in the side. It was just dumb luck he shot through the gap in my vest." Nick smiled thankfully at her and all three turned as they heard the rustle of sheets from the other bed.

Elliot turned over and moved his bed into a sitting position. Relaxing back into the pillows he sighed and addressed Cragen.

"Hey Cap."

"Hello Elliot. Long time no see." Silence fell between them as the implications of his statement settled. Feeling the tension seeping quickly into the room, Nick cleared his throat and stood to leave.

"I have to get back. They're probably drowning without us-" Olivia sighed ad nodded. It was probably for the best if he wasn't here to hear this.

"Okay, I'll see you back there in a half hour." Cragen replied. Nick gathered up his jacket and headed out of the room, passing Dr Beadle on the way out.

"Hey guys, I'm glad you're both awake." Olivia sighed and internally groaned, knowing they wouldn't be able to talk any time soon. She was already feeling lethargic and hazy from the morphine and hoped Beadle wouldn't keep them for too long.

Dr Beadle took Nick's seat and opened her top file. "Firstly, Elliot. You're recovering well so we'll keep you on obs for a few days but so long as nothing major happens, you'll be free to go." Elliot sighed in relief and smiled thankfully. Dr Beadle turned to Olivia. "Olivia. Of course, we're going to have to keep you here a bit longer. But the kidney _is_ being accepted successfully by your body, so long as you stay on the immuno-suppressants. I'll be round twice a day for the next few weeks and then hopefully, so long as there aren't any complications, we'll let you go." Olivia sighed. She had always hated hospitals and wasn't remotely looking forward to the next few weeks, or the months of recovery after that. What made her quickly declining mood even worse was Elliot's apparently smug smile. Hearing no response from her second patient, Dr Beadle gathered her files and stood to leave.

"Thanks doc." Cragen didn't turn away from his detectives but Beadle nodded before she left.

Olivia had closed her eyes, sleep quickly overtaking her body again. Cragen's voice sounded far off and distant when he next spoke and it took all of Olivia's energy to open her eyes again.

"Can we do this some other time Cap? I can barely keep my eyes open." Cragen paused and his features softened. Quietly he replied,

"Sure Liv. I'll drop by tomorrow to see how you're both doing." Olivia nodded slightly and yawned before drifting back into a peaceful slumber.

Elliot, who was on a lot less medication and so not nearly as sleepy, looked on in envy. "I'll catch up with you tomorrow as well Elliot." Cragen said as he headed to the door. Pausing, he turned back, "it's good to see you again." Elliot turned to look at his former captain and was surprised at the flicker of emotions in his eyes. Anger, sorrow, guilt. But then happiness. Happy that the only man who had truly made Olivia happy was back in their lives.

"It's good to see you to." Elliot replied.

3 days had passed since the operation and Elliot was getting ready to leave the hospital. Dr Beadle had cleared him on the understanding he would get plenty of rest and keep abdominal movements to a minimum while the muscle and tissue repaired. He had also been given a strict diet to allow his remaining kidney a chance to acclimatise to working alone. Olivia had grown more and more irate at his presence in her personal space and couldn't wait for him to leave. She checked her watch for the hundredth time.

"Time doesn't move faster if you keep watching it Liv. Kathy's due any minute and she isn't running late." Elliot grinned as he packed his spare pair of sweats and perched on the side of his bed, "anyone would think you didn't want me here." Olivia couldn't help but smirk at the accuracy of his comment.

"What? With the snoring and the constant loud breathing and the flirting with the nurses? Why would you ever think I didn't want you here?" Elliot laughed, even when she was pissed she still managed to make him laugh.

"It wasn't flirting. I was asking how she got the job. Kathleen's interested in becoming a nurse and I saw an opportunity."

"Uh huh and flashing the pecs? That was a happy mistake?" Elliot sighed, exasperated. He wasn't going to win this one so why try? Olivia giggled at his defeated look and lay back on her pillow. A comfortable silence fell between them, punctuated suddenly by both speaking at once.

"See, I said you breathe loudly-"

"Olivia can I ask you some-" Both paused again but Olivia spoke first, her voice strained.

"Please don't El. I'm still really tired and I don't want to have to explain everything at once." Olivia closed her eyes to illustrate her point.

"I was just wondering why-" Elliot began but he was interrupted by Kathy's brusque entrance.

"Sorry I'm a bit late. Three car pileup apparently so there were a load of ambulances blocking the entrance to the car park." She leant over and kissed Elliot on the cheek, picking up his bag at the same time. "Hey Liv, how are you doing?" Olivia still found it strange how friendly Kathy was toward her but at the moment she was too tired to care.

"I'm good thanks Kathy. A bit sore still but the morphine is working wonders and Dr Beadle says I can start light physio in a few weeks. You should see the diet they've got us on though," Olivia laughed and passed the sheet across, "it's all lean meats, vegetables and beans. Elliot was furious when they told him he couldn't have steak anymore." Both women laughed again as Elliot looked on.

"Come on Kath, Eli's probably worried where we are." It even sounded weak to him as it passed his lips but he knew if he left his wife and his old partner together any longer, it wouldn't be his reaction to a stupid diet they'd be laughing at next. Kathy rolled her eyes and leant down to give Olivia a final hug.

"Call us when you get out and we'll come visit."

"Sure." replied Olivia.

A quiet knock on her hospital door brought Olivia out of the semi-conscious slumber she had been relaxing in.

"Liv?" Nick peered around the door as Olivia opened her eyes slowly. "Oh God I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." he moved to close the door but was stopped by Olivia's soft tones.

"It's fine Nick. I was waking up anyway." Nick rentered the room and sat down beside Olivia's bed as she sat up and propped herself against her pillows.

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm good thanks. I'm trying to wean myself off the morphine as soon as possible, the fog the next morning is worse than an NYPD ball hangover. And El left earlier, so I've been enjoying the space." Nick's serious features softened into a smile. He loved it when she was her old sarcastic self.

"Liv," he paused, "I'm really sorry about the shoot-"

"Forget it Nick. I don't blame you, I turned my back on a perp and he took his shot. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine." Nick sighed in relief.

"Thanks, I'll still feel guilty but I'm just glad you're gonna pull through." he smiled at his partner and his heart lifted as she smiled warmly back.

"So tell me, what's happening back home?"

"The guy we shot was pretty high up the food chain. A few documents on him pointed us to a couple of other guys which we picked up."

"So it was worth it then?" Nick heard the humor in her voice and laughed as he shook his head.

"Of course not. Nothing is worth you getting hurt."

"I know Nick, I know. I'm just glad we got the bastards at last." Silence enveloped them again as they each sat and replayed the scene in their heads.

Olivia closed her eyes and relaxed back into her pillows and quickly the sound of her quiet even breathing was the only sound in the room. Nick looked up to see her fast asleep and stood to leave. Pulling the comforter over Olivia's still body, he brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

"Missing you Liv. No one else can handle Munch and Fin's bickering." he moved to the door and barely heard her mumbled reply.

"Miss you to."

**Please review, thankyou :) Off to carry on writing this baby up.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews guys, I didn't think they would mean so much but they do so thanks :) However, sorry to disappoint, but this is purely friendship. I don't think Nick and Olivia have the right chemistry for that. I mean yeah, sure, they have chemistry but as friends and partners, there's no sexual tension like there was with Elliot and Olivia. And I don't really like writing that, I can have alot more fun when they're just friends and what they say doesn't have a deeper meaning. Despite the addition of Mr Clarke (whom you find out abit more about this chap) I do like to keep things fairly canon, sorry. **

**But don't give up on me! I'm writing this as I go but things are going to start moving along verrry soon. Elliot returns to the 1-6 in the next chapter and we find out more about the elusive Mr Clarke. But before that, here is chapter 3, enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

She can hear shuffling and a scrawling pen. Groaning as she returns from yet another seemingly exhausting sleep, Olivia opened her eyes to a dimly lit room and a blonde nurse checking her charts.

"Oh I'm terribly sorry Mrs Clarke; I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to be as quiet as possible."

"It's okay, I was waking up anyway. What time is it?"

"Half past eleven." Olivia groaned. Now fully awake, she knew she wasn't going to fall back to sleep naturally tonight. Silence fell again as Olivia propped herself up and the nurse finished checking her pulse and blood pressure. "Dr Beadle will be in tomorrow morning and they'll take blood and urine samples for testing and then she wants to take you for physio. When would you like breakfast?"

Olivia shifted and reached across to grab the paper menu she had been given earlier in the day.

"Errr half past nine please. Can I have the cornflakes and a fruit salad? If I'm asleep you can just leave it on the table."

"Sure," replied the nurse. She paused, fiddling with a dial on one of the machines. "I saw a guy in here the other night…" Olivia smiled knowingly. Nick always had that effect on women. "Is he Mr Clarke?" At this Olivia turned, slightly shocked, to look at the nurse. She had been expecting the nurse to ask for his number or if he was available.

"Errr… no. He's my partner. My work partner." She quickly clarified at the nurses' despondent look. Olivia could barely suppress a giggle as the nurse perked back up again after the clarification.

"I hope you don't think I'm prying but what about Mr Clarke? I've seen all your visitors come and go and none of them have that last name." Olivia sighed and looked down at her hands.

"No, they are all just work colleagues. My husband's been away on a business trip in Philadelphia the past few weeks. I didn't want to worry him." The nurse frowned slightly. She had seen her fair share of marriages in practically every shape and form and this wasn't new. However, knowing her place, and her manners, she didn't question Olivia any further, nodded, and bade her goodnight, clicking the door shut quietly on her way out.

Olivia leant her head back and looked up at the ceiling. She didn't know why she had told the nurse that. A complete stranger, when she didn't even mention John to the rest of the squad. They knew about him, they had all attended her wedding a year earlier but she had made sure not to mix her work with the rest of her life. At the beginning it had been pure marital bliss. By successfully segregating her life, Olivia had leant to somewhat switch off from the job when she was around John. She could never fully forget the victims but they were a faint hum in the background of her private life now rather than a stark and constant reminder always haunting her and following her. But that was then and this was now. Now it was probably best that John was in Philadelphia and none the wiser. It meant she could truly relax here and try to recover as much as possible before his return.

She reached across to the small side table and grabbed the TV remote. The only thing on at this time of night was reruns. Settling down for a chat show marathon, Olivia gave herself another dose of morphine and waited for the twinges of pain to disappear.

* * *

It had been just over a week since the shooting and subsequent transplant and Olivia couldn't wait to leave these four walls behind and be able to collapse into her own bed. Dr Beadle had discharged her that morning with a new diet, physio exercises for her recovering abdominal muscle tissue and strict instructions regarding her medication. Beadle had noticed how quickly Olivia had weaned herself off the morphine and was worried she would try to do the same with her immuno-suppressants. However she had nothing to worry about as Olivia whole-heartedly promised to take her tablets twice a day until her next appointment.

"That's everything sorted Mrs Clarke. If you'll just sign the discharge sheet here and you'll be free to go." Olivia took the pen and signed on the dotted line at the end of the form. "Is there anyone you want to call to let them know you're leaving?" Olivia nodded and the nurse led her to a private phone booth halfway down the ward corridor. Olivia thanked the nurse and typed in the 16th precinct contact number. The desk sergeant answered.

"Hi Mark, can you patch me through to Nick's desk?" Olivia cut straight to the chase, not wanting to hang around with pleasantries. She would have plenty of time for that later but for now she just wanted to get home and lie on her own bed. She was relatively surprised when Amanda picked up. "Hey, I was wondering if Nick was around?"

"Hey Liv, err no he's just gone actually. He and Fin got a DV case come through and I get stuck with the paperwork. Why?" Olivia considered how to answer Amanda,

"Oh I just wanted to see how things were going, y'know; I'm going crazy in here." Amanda chuckled but stopped suddenly as she realised the date and the real reason Olivia was calling.

"Do you need a lift home Liv? Cos I can come and pick you up, I could take an early lunch?"

"At ten-thirty in the morning? No Amanda it's okay, I'll just get a cab. I wouldn't want to keep you from your paperwork." They both chuckled before Olivia thanked Amada anyway and hung up. Resting her forehead on the side of the phone booth, Olivia considered who else to call. She didn't fancy calling the squad room again and disturbing Cragen and there was no Casey or Alex around either. Deciding it would have to be a cab, Olivia reached for the phone again but before she could type in a number she remembered where she was and the fact that she had no money or form of ID on her. Nick had thrown some clothes into a bag for her but hadn't thought about anything else.

Almost crying with frustration, Olivia picked the phone up once again and typed the number she still knew from memory.

"Stabler residence, Elliot speaking." All Olivia could do was laugh.

"Stabler residence?" she spluttered down the line. "How posh does that make you sound?"

"Hello Olivia, how can I help?" sobering up, Olivia cleared her throat.

"I'm at the hospital and have absolutely no way to get home. I have no money or ID and there isn't anybody free at the house to come get me." Although that wasn't entirely true, she didn't think she could sit through a silence with any of the squad apart from Nick. Who was out.

"So I suppose I'm your saviour then? Your knight in shining armour? Your Prince Charming?" Olivia stifled another laugh. She knew she was pissed with him still, deep down, but she hadn't been able to laugh this easily and this freely with someone for quite some time. In the background she heard Kathy shouting and more clearly, Elliot's reply.

"It's Olivia Kath, says she needs a lift from the hospital because nobody else would come get her." Olivia swore down the phone at Elliot at the same time as Kathy swore as she remembered Olivia was leaving the hospital today and she hadn't offered her a lift. Elliot chuckled at both women before replying to Olivia's original question. "I'll be over in about half an hour Liv, see you then."

"Thanks El, bye." Olivia replied.

* * *

Half an hour later Elliot arrived holding a large bunch of purple tulips.

"These are from Kathy. She insisted I pick them up for you."

"Thankyou El, they're beautiful." Olivia took the bouquet from Elliot and made a beeline for the exit. "But can we please go? I just want to be back home again so I can make my own coffee and lie in my own bed."

They pulled up outside Olivia's apartment block.

"Thanks Elliot, I appreciate it."

"Not a problem Liv, you okay to get up those steps by yourself?" Olivia nodded and opened her car door. However, as she stepped out and tried to straighten up, she winced as a streak of pain twinged across her abdomen. It didn't go unnoticed. "Liv?! Liv what's wrong?"

"Nothing El, it's just the stitches stretching slightly. I'm fine." Before her age old mantra had passed her lips, Elliot had already rounded the car and reached out to support Olivia. She tried to resist but as she stepped back, her legs began to shake and she realised she wasn't going to make the stairs alone. Reluctantly, Olivia stepped forward again and allowed Elliot to encircle her waist with one hand and hold the arm draped across his shoulders with the other. Slowly, the pair made their way into Olivia's building and up the stairs.

"How come you aren't in this much pain? They cut you up the same as me didn't they?" Olivia asked, frustrated at the ease at which Elliot could move.

"They used a less invasive method to get my kidney out because I didn't have a hole in my side or a torn vein. I got my stitches out earlier this week and it still aches but my doc says I can start on the weights again next week. Here we go, this is us." Olivia released herself from Elliot's soft grasp and rummaged through the back pocket of her bag until she located her keys. Letting herself in, Olivia chucked the bag at the door before making her way into the kitchen and grabbing a glass of water and two Paracetamol. Elliot cautiously followed her and carried on into the lounge.

"This is a nice place you've got here Liv, you've redecorated." Olivia returned from the kitchen, rolling her eyes, and carefully sat down on the couch. Elliot walked over a propped a couple of cushions up to support her before perching on the edge himself. "It was John's idea; he wanted to brighten it up a bit." Elliot gazed around the lounge, taking in the new furnishings. Noticing a shelf of photographs, he stood and picked up the nearest one.

"So this is the elusive John then?" Olivia, realising the hole she had just dug herself, sat up straight.

"Thanks for the lift El but I'm fine now. You can go." Elliot turned back to his old partner and sat back down on the couch.

"Don't I get a cup of coffee?" Elliot tried to joke but Olivia was glaring across at him.

"Please Elliot, I'm tired. Just go." Elliot frowned. Twelve years meant she couldn't get anything past him.

"Olivia? What's wrong?" Olivia just shook her head. "Please, Liv, tell me? Who is this guy?" he motioned toward the man in the photograph. Olivia sighed and slumped back into the cushions. She knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later but she had kind of hoped it would be the latter.

"You've probably already guessed I'm married, he's the lucky guy who caught me." Elliot nodded. "John Clarke, business manager for a pharmaceuticals company."

"How did you meet?"

"A mutual friend in the DA's office. I was over clearing up a case with Barba and he was sorting lunch with one of the ADAs. We just hit it off. He was really sweet, took me on proper dates and never complained when I had to leave halfway through for a case. I just couldn't believe my luck, he was Mr Right." Olivia smiled at the memory.

"Olivia Benson, I never thought I would see the day you would be getting married." Olivia punched him gently in the shoulder but winced as her stitches twinged again.

"I can't wait to get these bloody things out of me." She checked to make sure the wounds hadn't opened before leaning back further into the couch.

"Why aren't they out yet?"

"Dr Beadle was slightly worried the surface tissue was taking longer to heal. She says I can get them out at my next appointment on Friday." Elliot nodded and paused. Olivia seemed to have relaxed again so he took his opportunity.

"Liv? Where's John now? Shouldn't he be here while you recover?" Olivia immediately tensed and stood up, ignoring another, slightly softer, stab of pain. Elliot could see the walls rebuilding behind her eyes. It had been worth a try.

"He's away El but he comes back Wednesday. It was a really important trip and I didn't want to disturb him." She walked over to the door and held it open. Elliot followed.

"But Liv, you were shot and had major surgery. I think that's slightly more important than a business trip-"

"How would you know Elliot? What do you know about me? Or him? Or our lives? I haven't seen you in over two years and you waltz back in and think that donating a kidney gives you the right to question my relationship?" Elliot was shocked by her outburst. He stepped toward her in order to placate her but she immediately stepped back and knocked into the side table.

"Liv I'm sorry, I-"

"Go Elliot, get out. I only wanted a ride home cos Nick wasn't at the house." Elliot stepped back, her words jarring into him. He never thought he would be second fiddle to her but the reality was painful. When he didn't move, she shouted at him. "I said GET OUT!" Elliot was on the threshold of her apartment, he turned again to try and calm her but was met by a resounding slam and the bare, green wood of her front door. He rubbed his face, and tried to think what to do next. Finally, he walked back down the stairs and out to his car. His explanation could wait for another day.

On the other side of the door, Olivia swiped a hand quickly under her eye. She wasn't going to waste a single tear on that bastard. Aching into her bag, she grabbed the waterproof bandage she had been given and went to run a hot bath. She had two days before John got home and she planned to spend every minute of it relaxing.

* * *

It was nearly twelve when Elliot arrived back home. He walked through the lounge and into the kitchen and found his wife stood at the sink washing salad leaves whilst Elizabeth cut the bread.

"Hi Dad, turkey sandwich?" Elliot nodded and sank into a chair. Elizabeth quickly made his sandwich, adding the washed leaves as Kathy brought them over. Handing the plate and a glass of squash to her father, Elizabeth looked up and locked eyes with Kathy. "I'll go get Dickie and Eli." Kathy nodded as Elizabeth walked off and sat down next to her husband.

"What's up Elliot? You look like a wet Monday morning."

"Liv chucked me out of her apartment. She's really pissed with me, more than I thought. I thought she would understand my need to stay away, my need to distance myself and us from that world, that department." Kathy squeezed her husband's forearm.

"She's just upset. She's been through major surgery and her world is gonna be pretty chaotic the next few months while she tries to recover. Seeing you was probably a shock to her system that's probably just catching up to her now. Call her in a few days, she'll have calmed down by then." Elliot shook his head and replied to Kathy's questioning frown.

"It wasn't just me Kath. I started asking her about her husband and she tensed up, I got a name and a job but when I asked where he was and why he wasn't here, that's when she threw me out. Something's wrong Kathy, she point blank refused to talk anymore about them." Kathy paused; she had no idea what to say. She knew Elliot cared very deeply for his old partner, even now. But she also knew what he was like on even the tiniest fragments of evidence: a bull in a bloody china shop. Choosing her words carefully, she replied,

"Well why don't you check him out? Google his name, the company he works for. See what people say about him." She sighed and looked across at her husband. "Y'know you're probably making a big deal out of nothing. Olivia has always been a private person. Maybe she just didn't want you to know." This hurt him as much as Olivia's jab but he could see the truth in it. Maybe two years was too long. Nodding, Elliot grabbed his sandwich and made his way over to the computer to get started. Sighing Kathy walked around the table and finished off the sandwiches. She had seen Elliot go through this countless times with Olivia's dates and although it irritated her to hell, she was happy Olivia always had somebody looking out for her, even if it was her husband. Once Elliot saw Olivia's husband was a decent, normal guy this would all blow over and he could perhaps start mending what he had broken.

"Liz, Dickie, Eli, lunch is ready."

**Hope you liked it. Don't worry, El and Liv will talk properly later on. The next chapter is going to be pretty long and I don't know how long it'll take to write but be patient my lovelies, I won't leave you. Please review, thankyouuuuu.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been a while. Had to do a ton of school work I'd left till the end of the holidays. This was originally going to be longer but I thought I'd put you out of your misery (whoever it still bothered with this story) and post it. Hopefully the next chapter will be up by the weekend and we'll get to have the Elliot-Olivia talk. And thanks for the reviews guys, they really mean alot :)**

**This chapter is rated M for sexual violence.**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

Louise felt the cold chill of wind race across her bare back as she stood outside the bar. She never usually picked up strange men from bars in a strange new city but her latest meeting hadn't gone her way and a night out was the perfect medicine. She knew her dress would attract all the right kinds of attention and she had looked forward to the fun of flirting and the disappointment in the men's eyes as she denied their offers of a bed for the night.

This guy, however, was different. Louise didn't know why but he was. He was dressed the same as all the other married men looking for a bit of skirt before they returned to their dreary lives and wives. But this man had a certain charm about him and Louise couldn't erase the looks of desire he had flashed at her from across the room or the heat and passion in his kiss as he caught her leaving the ladies. Louise had never been kissed like that before and she never wanted him to stop.

He emerged from the bar and immediately placed his jacket around Louise's shivering shoulders.

"The cab should be here in 5." His voice was deep and slightly rough from the Scotch he had been drinking. Louise smiled and replied,

"I hope you have more at your place, I can feel rationale coming back and it's telling me to run." The man laughed.

"Don't worry, I have a whole bar for you where we're going." he winked at her and opened her door as the taxi pulled up. Walking around, he slid into the other side and gave the driver the address of his hotel.

"Oooo that's expensive." cooed Louise. "I hope they have champagne." She knew she was being forward but the various cocktails and shots she had consumed were still swimming around inside her and she felt confident this man would comply. Somehow, he was different from the others.

"Anything for you baby." He drawled into her ear as he leant into her personal space. She reciprocated by moving toward the middle of the back seat. His soft palm sought out her bare thigh and the warm touch sent goosebumps across her legs. His hand softly rubbed the top of her thigh before he turned his wrist and his long fingers found the softer skin of her inner thigh. The touch sent more goosebumps up her legs and across her upper arms. She could already feel the pit of her stomach swirling in anticipation of what was yet to come and as his hand moved further down and nestled in her crotch she felt a shiver rise up her spine.

The man shifted his hand and began to slowly rub the rough lace of her panties across her clit. Louise could barely suppress a gasp as the pleasure rippled through her lower body and another shiver sped down her spine. The man leant in closer again and latched onto the sensitive spot of skin just below her left earlobe, sucking and tickling with his warm tongue. She giggled at the tickle and the shift in her body's position accidentally pushed his fingers closer toward her sensitive entrance. He moved his mouth from her neck to her ear and whispered,

"Careful now, we wouldn't want you to come just yet would we?" As she processed his words and felt the warming touch of his liquor infused breath in her ear, she felt a rush of wet pool in her panties and his smirk on the side of her neck as he reattached himself. "Or perhaps I spoke too soon." He chuckled as the cab pulled up outside his hotel and chucked a wad of notes at the smirking driver. Louise stepped out of the cab, closely followed by her suitor who wrapped an arm protectively around her waist. The man led her through the hotel's lobby and on toward the elevators. Reaching his floor, the man led Louise down the corridor to his room and opened it with a flourish. Louise stepped into the ornately furnished room and gasped.

It was practically an apartment. The room she was stood in was a reception/lounge and she could see three other rooms radiating away from it. Setting her cardigan and purse on the side table, Louise sat gingerly on the edge of the plush couch. The alcohol was starting to wear off and a small part of her was saying this was a bad idea. However, the larger, drunker and considerably louder voice in her head was telling her why not? Why not let her hair down for the night? This could be the most fun she's had in a while.

The man, whom she didn't even have a name for, walked out of what she assumed was the bedroom, now without a tie or jacket.

"Please, make yourself at home. Order some champagne or room service. I'm just going to take a shower and then I'll be right with you." As the man disappeared into the bathroom, Louise frowned. His actions were slightly odd and from what she had felt in the taxi, he was certainly up for a lot more tonight. Shrugging and deciding she would make the most of such a hotel room, Louise ordered the champagne and wandered into the bedroom.

She had removed the skimpy layer her dress provided and was draped across the numerous pillows and cushions when her date returned from the shower. He scanned her slim body approvingly as she took in the obvious bulk of his shoulders and chest. He was slightly large around the middle and she wondered how many years of marriage had led to such carelessness. However half the bottle of champagne had already disappeared and she only had one thing on her mind tonight.

He dropped his towel and made his way over to the bed, climbing onto it and crawling over until he was hovering above her. She felt her eyebrows rise as she took in his length. He was bigger than she had expected and she felt her body tingle in anticipation. He caressed her cheek and lowered his head until his soft lips took hers. He immediately grabbed her lower lip and began viciously sucking on it. Louise could feel the heat and passion behind it and groaned in response, bringing her hands up and raking them through his hair. He lowered his body closer to hers and she felt his erection rubbing against her lower stomach. Keeping one hand firmly on her cheek, he moved his other hand down and shimmied away her lace panties. As Louise moved her hips to assist him, his erection moved down until it was sitting at her sensitive entrance. His mouth moved from her lips to the crux of her neck and his hand followed until it was encircling her neck. She moaned again at the attention he was paying to the sensitive part of her neck and he reciprocated with a low, guttural growl. His other hand grazed up her thigh until it reached her hot core. Stroking it slowly to begin with but picking up the pace as he felt her short, hot breaths on his cheek. He slipped two and then three fingers into her and continued his pace as he felt her walls clench around him. One final thrust and he heard her moan as she came around his fingers.

Louise lay back onto the soft mattress as the ripples of her orgasm washed up her lower abdomen. She continued to take deep breaths as the man moved his attention from her neck, down her breastbone and over the smooth mound of her breast. Bringing his hand back up her body, he reached behind and unclasped her bra with one swift flick. She helped him remove it and he immediately latched onto one of her hardened nipples. She could already feel the warm stirrings in her lower abdomen as his hardened length moved back to her entrance. Giving her nipple one last flick with his tongue, he thrust into her. Louise arched her back and spread her legs further apart to better accommodate him. As he pulled out she wrapped her legs around his lower waist and then pulled him toward her as he thrust into her for the second time. This time he moved deeper into her core and she could already feel the ripples of pleasure coursing through her lower abdomen. Suddenly, the man moved his mouth back up to hers and he began roughly biting and sucking. At the same time, he began to slowly tighten his grasp around her neck. He could feel her begin to struggle beneath him as she gasped for air. He kept his mouth latched onto hers as his fingers dug deeper into the soft skin of her neck. Her arms were lashing out beside him but his weight was keeping her body still as he continued to thrust in and out of her.

Louise's eyes were now wide open and she was staring in fear, silently pleading with this man to stop. Lights began dancing across her eyes and her head felt heavy and fuzzy at the lack of oxygen. As darkness seeped into her vision and consciousness, her last thought was how her mother had always told her never to run off with a strange man. A single tear fell as Louise lost consciousness and fell limp beneath him. This was all he needed and with one final thrust he came within her, releasing his grip on her neck at the same time. He lay above her for a few seconds more before extracting himself and rolling over onto the other side of the bed. After catching his breath, he laughed a deep hearty laugh before standing and putting on his robe. He made his way out into the lounge area and picked up the telephone, leaving Louise draped over his bed and staring blankly at the navy blue sky outside the window.

* * *

Elliot walked into the 1-6 and was surprised by how much it had changed since he was last there. Not surprising, he reminded himself, as he hadn't been in this building for over two years. New notices were plastered across the board behind the desk sergeant, whom he didn't recognise. He walked up to the desk.

"Ahem, excuse me? I need a visitor's pass?" The desk sergeant looked up and smiled warmly at him.

"Just fill out this form here please." Elliot took the paper and pen and proceeded to fill out all the required information. Armed with a pass and directions to the squad room, which he had laughed at before remembering this sergeant didn't know who he was, Elliot walked into the elevator and pressed for the fifth floor. The doors opened and he strolled out and turned into the squad room. Seeing Fin sitting at his old desk, he made a beeline for him and sat in Olivia's chair. Without looking up from his work, Fin began to reprimand him,

"Liv you shouldn't be here for at least another three weeks. The cap-" he stopped as he looked up and saw who was actually sitting across from him. "You son of a bitch." Fin sat back in his chair shaking his head at Elliot's smirking grin.

"I guess that's what I expected." Fin crossed his arms and the look of shock morphed into an angry frown.

"Do you realise the mess you've made coming back? Cragen's worried sick about what this will do to Olivia. Nick and Amanda are confused as hell at all the tension and me? Well I'm just pissed it was you who had to save her life and not one of us." Elliot looked down at his clasped hands.

"I'm sorry Fin. I know I should've called you or Liv but the weeks turned into months and soon, too much time had passed and I didn't have an excuse anymore. I was just scared." He looked up and the anger was still there in his old friend's eyes but his features had softened slightly and he had uncrossed his arms.

"Olivia was never the same after you left y'know. She built up a wall and this time, nobody could get through. A few men have tried but nobody's succeeded, not even her husband I don't think."

"Actually, that's why I'm here today. I wanted to know what you guys had on her husband?" Fin's eyebrows knotted as his frown deepened.

"Why? Why are you digging up on her fella?"

"I got a funny feeling about him and their marriage Fin. She has hardly any photos of them in her apartment, she doesn't call him when she gets _shot_. And the moment I brought up his whereabouts she shuts down and chucks me outta her apartment. I mean I might've been gone two years but I can still tell when something's wrong." Fin sighed in resignation and leaned forward, resting his arms on the desk.

"We've been feeling the same thing El. Like I said, something changed in her when you left but I felt she was opening up again last year. And when she met John, she was happy. Really happy, like the world was on her side for once. But recently she's been shutting down again. She won't come out with us for drinks and she spends a hell of a lot of time in the cribs instead of in her own bed."

"So have you met this guy? What's he like?" Fin shook his head.

"Nah, not since the wedding. Nick's the only one who's seen him. He went to pick her up one morning for court and he answered the door. Nick said he got a weird vibe from the guy." Elliot nodded slowly, a frown forming.

"I'm guessing you did some digging on him?" Fin gave him a withering look before nodding his head once.

"We had to be sure he was safe. With you gone, somebody had to be the jealous partner." Elliot ignored the jibe,

"And?"

"Nothing. He wasn't in any of our databases or Pennsylvania's or Jersey's. He has an almost perfect employment record, credit rating, everything. We thought she had struck gold." Fin looked on as Elliot took out a wad of papers that had been folded in his jacket pocket.

"Well I did some research of my own, on good old Google, and found a few inconsistencies."

"Such as?"

"Well I found three different colleges that he has claimed to have been at but when I looked up the records for each, he hasn't been to any of them. The University he said he graduated from didn't have anyone with his full name in the year he should have left but two years previously they have a David Clarke graduate and when I pulled his picture, he looks strikingly familiar from what I remember of Olivia's photos. I couldn't find much on employment, just the company he's working for at the moment but nothing before that." Elliot leaned forward on the desk as well. "I've got a bad feeling about this guy Fin. Something isn't right."

"I hear you man but what can we do? Any time we bring it up, she changes the subject." At that moment Nick waltzed into the squad room.

"Where is everybody this morning-?" He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it over his chair, noticing Elliot and Fin talking across from him. "Sorry guys, didn't realise I was interrupting." Elliot stood and held his hand out to Nick.

"Elliot Stabler. I don't think we were properly introduced at the hospital." Nick took the hand and gave it a single shake.

"Nick Amaro, good to meet you at last." Elliot smiled and sat back down at Olivia's desk, turning to survey it for the first time as Nick turned to Fin and raised his eyebrows. Fin replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Elliot replaced the photo he had found of himself and Olivia at a Police Ball and turned back to Nick.

"John Clarke, what can you tell me about him." Nick collapsed into his own chair and let out a sigh.

"Not much to be honest. Apart from the wedding I've only met him once, when I went to pick Olivia up for court. He kept me outside the apartment and just stood there, studying me. Olivia was quiet for the rest of the day, almost embarrassed that I had met him. He didn't even kiss her goodbye and she refused my offer to drive her home. She never let me pick her up again and I haven't seen him since. We've looked in all the databases but can't find him." Elliot nodded.

"I've been doing a bit of searching myself but this is all I got." He handed over the sheaf of papers and Nick proceeded to leaf through them. "I'm just glad you guys thought there was something wrong as well and it wasn't just me."

"Well I am her partner, I've always got her back." Elliot could feel the breath catch in his throat but forced himself not to react to Nick's comment. It was true and there was nothing he could do to change it but the truth still hurt. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Fin's eyebrows rise slightly and when he looked back at Nick, who was still looking down at the papers, he thought he could see the beginnings of a smirk at the corners of his mouth.

But before he could say anything to either detective, Cragen walked purposely through from his office.

"Fin, Amaro, we have a vic on her way to Mercy. Rape and assault. Go." Both men stood and grabbed their coats, heading toward the elevator but they both heard Elliot's promise,

"I'll look into it some more."

* * *

Elliot had debated whether to see Olivia or not. It had been two days since she had been released from hospital and chucked him out and he hoped she had calmed down since then. He knocked once followed by a rapid double knock and then a fourth single knock. It was his signature knock and he hoped she would remember and come to the door. After a few minutes of silence he realised the knock was a bad idea. It would tell her who was at the door and therefore make it less likely for her to open it. Cursing his stupidity, Elliot turned and made his way to her stairs but was pleasantly surprised when he heard the door unlock behind him and open.

"Liv-" he began but was startled as she stood in her doorway wearing nothing but a silk kimono.

"Elliot? What the hell are you doing here?" Elliot stepped closer so her neighbours couldn't hear their conversation.

"I came to see how you were doing, make sure you were taking the meds and that." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine Elliot and yes, of course I'm taking the medication. These aren't like painkillers, I know they're much more important than that." Elliot nodded but with a knowing smile on his lips. She couldn't help her lips tugging up into a small smile themselves.

"Can I come in?" Elliot knew it was forward of him and dressed like that, she was probably about to get in the shower but he hoped they could spend a few hours just talking. There were so many things he knew he had to explain.

"Now's not a good time El. I'm kinda busy."

"I know, you're probably about to jump in the shower but I can sit and wait. I'll even order pizza." Olivia shook her head.

"No Elliot, it's not that. I'm just busy at the moment and I don't need company." Elliot opened his mouth to refute but was stopped by a gravelly voice emerging from what he remembered was her bedroom.

"Come on baby, it's getting cold in here without you. Tell whoever it is to fuck off and get back in here so you can fuck me off." a deep and rather unpleasant laugh followed and Olivia closed her eyes and leant against the door that was now barely open. She could feel her legs trembling and she just wanted the ground to swallow her up.

"Please Elliot, go now." Elliot was just stood there, shocked.

"Olivia? Did he just-? You're still injured Liv, you can't be up to doing... that?" Olivia just gave him a withering look.

"It's none of your business Elliot. Goodbye." She closed the door firmly on him and leant back against it. Her side ached and she could feel the front of her abdomen throbbing. Wincing, she pushed away from the door and walked back into the bedroom to find her husband lying amongst the crumpled sheets and grinning at her.

"There you are baby, I wondered where you had gone. Come over here baby." Olivia crawled onto the bed and over to her husband and winced slightly as she felt her stitches strain. "Come sit in my lap baby." Olivia complied but tried to squirm away as John's hands moved down her chest and underneath her robe.

"Please John, my stomach is really aching and my stitches are straining. No more tonight."

"Nonsense baby, you're doing great. I have to leave again tomorrow for another conference so tonight's the only chance I'm getting to see you. Just one more time babe, to keep your old man happy?" Olivia sighed. A dull ache was sitting across her stomach now and she had definitely felt a twinge from one of her stitches earlier. But John was her husband and she hadn't been with him in nearly three weeks so she could understand his need to see her, all of her.

"Okay baby, one more time. Just for you." She smiled as she leant down and kissed him softly on his lips.

* * *

Half an hour later, Olivia rolled away from her snoring husband and grabbed her robe up from where it had been discarded on the floor. Breathing deeply to try and alleviate the ache, she walked through into the lounge and collapsed onto the couch. It was cold and lumpy but John had spread himself across their double bed and the peace from his snoring was a welcome relief.

A stabbing pain awoke Olivia from her restless sleep and she groaned as she tried to sit up. John's faint snoring could still be heard from their bedroom but Olivia was awake now and not about to sleep anytime soon. She stretched, trying to pull the fatigue from her body but immediately doubled over as the pain over her stomach intensified tenfold. Cursing loudly, Olivia undid the robe she had been sleeping in and was shocked as it peeled away from her skin, soaked in something sticky. Gingerly, she stood and limped into the bathroom. In the stark white light, the crimson of her blood was even darker. Olivia pulled off the rest of the robe and stood underneath the shower. She allowed the warm water to wash away the semi-dry blood and after drying the rest of her body, reached into the medicine cabinet for a couple of gauze bandages. Having stemmed the bleeding for the time being, Olivia quietly made her way into her bedroom and grabbed up her jeans, a shirt and a bra from the floor. John was still draped over their bed, dead to the world. Rather than waking him and having to deal with her husband's inevitable mood, Olivia called a cab and went downstairs to wait for it, grabbing her purse on the way out.

She leant against the cab window as it sped through the lights and sounds of her city. Her arm had been wrapped protectively around her stomach but as she neared the hospital, she felt her shirt grow sticky as the thin bandages failed to stop the increasingly heavy bleeding. She managed to pay the driver and stumble into the ER and up to the front desk.

"Hello, what can I do for you this morning?"

"Hi, my stitches are due out Friday but I think one of them has split open cos I've started bleeding really heavily."

"Okay, if you take a seat on the bed over there and I'll have a nurse come and see you in a few minutes."

Luckily the ER was relatively empty at this time of night so a nurse came over to Olivia straightaway.

"Hello, my name is Fiona. Can you tell me what's happened." Olivia couldn't bring herself to tell the nurse the real truth behind why her stitches had split. She was quite proud of the pretty convincing lie she managed to spin out.

"I was making a snack and reached up to the top shelf for something when I felt a twinge on my stomach. I thought it was nothing but I woke up about an hour ago and my shirt was soaked with blood."

"Okay and are you feeling dizzy or lightheaded?" Olivia shook her head. "Okay, I don't think you will need a transfusion but after I've replaced your stitches with dissolvable staples, we'll set you up with an IV and keep you for a few hours, just to be sure." Olivia nodded her head and sat back in the bed as the nurse disappeared to collect the equipment. Upon her return, the nurse attempted to strike up a conversation with Olivia.

"So what happened for you to get these stitches in the first place?"

"I was shot on the job and needed a kidney transplant because of it." The nurse looked up, slightly shocked.

"Wow." Until a knowing look crossed her face, "ahhhh, you're a cop aren't you?"

"That obvious huh?"

"We don't get many GSWs on middle aged women." The nurse laughed. "Right, that's the stitches out. I'll sterilise the wound and then put in the staples. Two seconds." The nurse walked back toward the store room and Olivia shifted in her bed, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"You'll only need a couple of these; the cuts are closing up nicely. I have a feeling those stitches had been working themselves loose for the past couple of days." The nurse retook her seat and began stapling Olivia's surgery cuts closed and Olivia nodded tiredly in agreement "Is there anybody I can call? You might be here for a few hours and I'm sure somebody will wonder where you are." Olivia began to shake her head, no way was she dragging John out of bed for this. He would only sit and complain at the lack of sleep he was getting and the fact he had to catch a plane in a few hours. "Really? Nobody at all? I would've thought a beautiful woman such as yourself would have men falling over themselves to be at your bedside." Olivia could only smile tiredly at the nurses' kindness when a name flashed across her mind and an ache she couldn't place told her she wanted _him_ to be here.

"Err actually yeah there is somebody you could call. The number's 876-555-9043." The nurse nodded as she jotted down the number and cleared away the equipment she had been using. Olivia looked up again as she returned from the central desk,

"He said he would be over in about twenty minutes and told you not to panic. I explained that you had just had your stitches changed and he seemed to calm down a bit before cursing about somebody." Olivia laughed at Elliot's typical temper.

"Thanks Fiona." The nurse nodded and continued up the corridor to another patient.

**I hope you enjoyed it, please review. Thankyou :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So here it is guys. Sorry for the wait but I wanted to get this right. Thankyou all of you again for your lovely reviews;**** especially Kristy6, you brightened my day. But please please please let me know what you think of this chapter and the last one. And let me know if you want more cos I do have a story planned out but I won't bother writing it if nobody wants to read it.**

**Again, a little artistic licence must be taken with the medical stuff. I did know somebody who's stitches came loose and they had to go back into hospital and they were replaced with the staples but most of the medical stuff is fiction.**

**I was listening to this song and I thought the lyric fit this chapter perfectly. I would give Lana a listen, she's pretty good and I mostly listen to her when I'm writing.**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

**'_You fit me better than my favourite sweater_.' – Lana Del Rey, Blue Jeans.**

Elliot sped through the automatic doors of the emergency room and nearly crashed into the front desk.

"Olivia Benson?" he gasped. The desk clerk checked her computer as Elliot fidgeted impatiently.

"I'm sorry, there's no one here with that name." Elliot frowned; worried he had turned up at the wrong hospital before it hit him… again.

"Shit, I mean Clarke, Olivia Clarke." This time the woman nodded,

"Bed number 3, down there and on the right." The desk nurse pointed out to him.

"Thanks." Elliot turned the corner and was faced with an apparently sleeping Olivia.

He stepped up to the bed and noticed the stark staples running across her partially healed cut. Feeling his presence, Olivia dragged her eyes open and shifted up into a more comfortable sitting position.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you."

"It's okay El, I wasn't sleeping." Elliot pulled a chair up to her bedside and leant his elbows on the edge of her bed.

"I came over as soon as I could. The nurse said your stitches had split open and you were bleeding. What the hell happened Liv?" Olivia rolled her eyes, trust him to over-catastrophise the situation.

"I fell asleep and when I woke, I noticed I was bleeding so I came straight here and they stitched me back up again. See, good as new." Olivia pointed at her stomach and Elliot sighed in exasperation.

"But _why_ did your cuts reopen?" Olivia looked at him before deciding on her answer.

"I was reaching up to the top shelf and I felt a twinge in my stomach. I thought nothing of it and just carried on but I guess it was the thread breaking or something. The nurse said they were getting loose anyway so it isn't such a big deal." She never looked him directly in the eye as she spoke and looked down at her lap as he replied in a whisper,

"Bullshit."

"Please, Elliot. I thought I was doing okay, I mean they've been in for nearly 2 weeks and they were due out the day after tomorrow so my cuts should have healed already. Honestly it's not a big deal" Elliot shook his head and tried to get her to look at him again. As she raised her head to meet his eyes, she instinctively knew nothing would get past him, even after all this time.

As she thought it, her face changed from soft humour to a stony anger.

"And it's not like you need to know. After 2 years without you, I'm still here. I don't need your protection or your permission to do what the hell I like in my own life! So butt out Elliot and don't concern yourself with other people's business." Olivia finished flushed and out of breath and with the aching need to get away from him. Elliot had sat up now and was leaning slightly forward so as to keep their conversation as private as possible. However, Olivia's outburst had brought the curious looks from the desk and duty nurses.

"You're not just other people, you're Olivia. You were my partner for twelve wonderful years and you're still the closest friend I've ever had." Elliot tried to cool Olivia's anger with his calm and quiet voice but she was up for a fight now and not about to stop.

"You said it Elliot, I _was_ your partner. Two years ago, I _was_ your partner. But I'm married now and there's someone else I go to when I need help and there's someone else I talk to when the job gets too much. Life's moved on without you and it's about time you noticed that and stopped trying to move yourself back into my life!" At that Elliot saw red. He knew he was mostly to blame for this, because it was his decision to run and not tell her, but he didn't like her blaming him for his reappearance. It's not like he planned it.

"I did not try to 'move back in' Olivia. It was pure chance I was in the ER when they brought you in and, as far as I remember, it was _you_ who called _me_ both times to come and pick you up from the hospital. Not Nick, or Cragen or your precious husband, ME! So if anybody is trying to 'move me back in' it's YOU Olivia." Elliot was breathing hard now and well aware of the attention they had brought to themselves but he couldn't care less right now. Olivia had to realise the part she was playing in all this. Olivia glared at him the entire time he was shouting at her but recoiled in shock at his final statement.

"SCREW YOU ELLIOT!" She leapt from her bed and grabbed her IV drip before storming down the corridor. Elliot continued to gasp his breath back and compose himself. He leant his elbows on her bed again and dropped his head into his hands, replaying their argument over again.

A small cough behind him brought Elliot out of the depths of his memory and he turned to see the desk nurse cautiously stood at the edge of Olivia's bay.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I think I saw your wife go into the Ladies, its private and away from the rest of the ER." Elliot couldn't decide whether she was being genuinely nice or not so subtly telling him to continue their argument elsewhere. However, the nurse was wearing a warm, pleasant smile and Elliot decided it was the former and smiled in reply. He stood and took a deep breath before following the way Olivia had just gone. It wasn't until he had reached the door to the ladies restroom that he realised the nurse had called Olivia his wife. He couldn't help but smile before quickly straightening his face and knocking on the door.

"Liv?" he opened the door slightly and peered around the corner. Olivia was leaning over a sink with her forehead resting in her hands.

"The woman on the door is supposed to tell you something Elliot. It means ladies only."

"I know Liv but I wanted to talk to you and this is more private than the ER."

"Do you not think that's why I came in here?" Elliot closed the door behind him and leant against the wall, staring at the floor. Now that he was here and his anger had dissipated, he was at a loss as to what to say. Olivia, on the other hand, was still holding onto her anger, loath to let him get away so easily.

"What do you want Elliot? You didn't just come in here to stare at your shoes so speak." Elliot took a deep breath,

"Liv-" but was cut off by Olivia's curt voice.

"It's Olivia. You have to earn calling me Liv, like we were friends. You have to earn it." Elliot paused before starting again.

"Olivia. I know no amount of sorrys will make up for what I did to you and I know you will probably never truly forgive me for it." Olivia scoffed. "Believe me, I wouldn't forgive myself." Elliot looked up but Olivia remained stoically staring at her reflection. Before, that would have earned him at least a smirk but now, nothing. "I realise my coming back so suddenly is a huge shock to you, especially on top of the shooting and the transplant, and I didn't plan it this way." Olivia shook her head and closed her eyes. "I don't know how I would have planned it but it certainly wouldn't have been like this. I'm sorry I just burst into your life and I'm sorry for prying into your personal business. I realise it has nothing to do with me anymore as I am no longer your partner but I hope I can still be your friend." Elliot stopped, gasping slightly for breath, and looked up at Olivia's reflection. He was slightly shocked to see tear trails on her cheeks and another fresh one glistening in her eye. However, as soon as she noticed him staring, she angrily wiped the tears away and turned to face him, anger radiating once again from her glare.

"You're sorry? You think saying sorry a few times is going to magically fix this?"

"No I-"

"Twelve years Elliot! Twelve years of 72 hour shifts and late night take outs and stupid arguments and even stupider jokes and you think sorry is the answer?"

"Olivia no! I didn't-"

"Forget it Elliot. I don't want to hear your stupid excuses. I'm tired and I just want to go home and go to bed." Olivia stormed past him and out of the toilets, dragging her IV drip behind her. Elliot leant his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He had tried reasoning with her but he knew Olivia and he knew there had only been a slight chance she would even listen. He was going to have to go with another approach but right now, he was out of ideas. He followed Olivia back to her bed and found her arguing with the duty nurse.

"Look I feel fine, I've been here for nearly two hours and you've had me hooked up all this time. I just want to go home now."

"I understand that Mrs Clarke but if you wait just another 10 minutes and I'll get a doctor to come over and discharge you." Olivia sighed and slumped onto her bed as the nurse hurried off. Bringing her knees up to her chest, she rested her head on them and wrapped her arms around them. As Elliot approached her bed he saw her shoulders shake as she quietly sobbed into her chest.

He paused before he reached her bed, not wanting her to realise his presence until he knew what on earth he was going to do. Finally making a decision, Elliot perched gingerly on the edge of Olivia's bed. She immediately felt the mattress dip and stilled her shoulders, hiccupping her sobs to a stop. Elliot shifted slightly closer to her still body but Olivia stayed face down, not wanting to show her flushed, tear stained face. Elliot moved so he was sat in the centre of her bed, his feet scuffing the hospital floor and looked at his partner's immobile form. He had never meant for her to cry, he knew that equated weakness in her eyes and she would never cry in public if she could help it, always bottling it up until they got back to the cribs or her apartment. Slowly and carefully, so as not to surprise her, Elliot reached around and drew Olivia into his chest. At first she resisted but as she felt his warmth and his steady heartbeat compared to her erratic pulse, she softened and fell into his embrace. Olivia hid her wet face in his jumper as she controlled her breathing and the last of her hiccups. She wanted to stay here in his safety forever. It reminded her of the safety she felt after Sonya had died in her arms. Elliot's arms squeezed around her and they sat there on her bed, silent apart from Olivia's shallow breathing.

* * *

It was half an hour later when the doctor reached Olivia's bed. They had shifted their positions so Elliot was sat beside Olivia who had curled up into his side and rested her head on his chest. They both sat up as the doctor rounded the corner of the curtain.

"Mrs Clarke?" Olivia nodded. "And you must be Mr Clarke?" he looked at Elliot.

"Err, no. I'm just a friend." Elliot gave the doctor a small smile and squeezed Olivia's shoulder.

"I'm sorry; the nurses must have been mistaken. I just came to discharge Olivia officially. She no longer needs to meet with the Nephrologist on Friday as the staples will dissolve within the next week. However we would like for you to go to your doctor's in two weeks for a check up." Olivia nodded, not meeting the doctor's eye but rather staring at her lap. The doctor produced two forms which she signed before he carried on to his next patient. The nurse, Fiona, returned and removed Olivia's IV. Once she had finished Olivia stood and looked down at Elliot.

"Take me home, please." Elliot was surprised at the vulnerability in her voice. Rarely had he heard her ask anyone for anything directly. He silently nodded his head and led her out of the hospital toward his car.

* * *

They were halfway across Lincoln Square before Elliot spoke again.

"I don't think you're safe there Olivia." he began. Olivia turned and rolled her eyes at him.

"He isn't violent Elliot. We were just a bit...over enthusiastic. And like I said before. This has nothing to do with you so please, just drop it." She leant back against the headrest and continued to watch the city speed by.

"I'm just worried about you Olivia, that's all." Suddenly Olivia laughed. Elliot frowned and glanced over at her. "What? What did I say?" Composing herself Olivia turned back to him.

"You. Still calling me Olivia." Worry flitted across Elliot's eyes before he took in her mischievous grin. Olivia turned back to the window as she carried on talking. "I was just angry at you, I didn't mean it." She turned again and punched his shoulder playfully, "You idiot." Elliot just smiled and shook his head. They continued their journey in a happy silence and Elliot could feel himself relaxing in her presence for the first time since she had awoken and realised he had saved her life.

* * *

Elliot pulled up outside Olivia's apartment building and put the car into park.

"Want me to escort you up?" Olivia laughed,

"I'm sure I'll be fine El. It's only four flights of stairs."

"No, I want to. And I want to meet the elusive Mr Clarke." At this, Olivia's face fell.

"He'll be asleep El. It's half four in the morning and he has a nine o'clock flight to Newark so I don't fancy waking him up now to meet and old friend." Elliot sighed.

"Well at least let me make sure you get up the stairs okay?" Olivia shook her head and smiled.

"You're gonna have to sort out this paranoia about my safety El. But I suppose it won't do me any harm to have you watch my back." The words tumbled out before Olivia realised what she was saying and she immediately regretted it. Elliot opened his door and stepped out of the car without a reply and Olivia quietly groaned and cursed her stupidity. From outside, Elliot called in to her.

"C'mon Liv, it's freezing out here." Olivia sighed and opened her door.

All too soon for Elliot they reached Olivia's door and she dug into her purse for her keys.

"I am truly sorry for what I did, Olivia." He spoke quietly but her hand stilled in its rummaging and she kept her eyes fixed on her bag. "I didn't want to leave you but I couldn't think of what else to do." There was a silence before Olivia spoke just as quietly.

"I know Elliot. I know."

Having located her keys, Olivia placed them in the lock and opened her door with a creak. However, before she could enter, Elliot's hand on her shoulder stopped her. She turned and faced him, not letting her gaze move from his.

"I know you feel safe here and I know you love him but just remember why you were in the hospital tonight." Elliot paused; knowing what he said next could reverse everything he had spent the last few hours fixing, "Even after you said no." Olivia's eyes widened in shock and she opened her mouth to retaliate but was stopped by the figure approaching behind her.

"Livvy, baby? Is that you?" Olivia turned and threw a smile she would never truly feel across her lips.

"Yeah John, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I was worried baby doll. I woke up and you weren't here. I tried your cell but you'd left it on the coffee table silly." Olivia rolled her eyes and nodded in agreement.

"Silly me, I was in such a rush to get out I must have forgotten it." John walked up and turned Olivia around, heavily throwing his arm over her shoulders. She winced slightly at his weight suddenly on her but kept the smile plastered across her lips.

"And who might this be? Out with my _wife_ in the wee hours of the morning? If I didn't know my _wife_ better, I'd think she was cheating on me." John emphasised the word 'wife' to Elliot as Olivia let out a girlish giggle. Elliot just stood on her threshold, a frown creasing his brow as he observed this new and different woman whom, a moment ago, had been the tough cop he thought he had known for nearly thirteen years. He opened his mouth to respond but was beaten to it by Olivia.

"He works at the hospital. My stitches broke open so I had to go and get it sorted. It was the end of his shift and he offered me a lift home so I said yes. Rather than have to splash out on a cab." She quickly added. Elliot looked from John to Olivia and took in the glare she was shooting at him before nodding and transforming his features into a warm smile.

"It was the least I could do with the lady looking for a lift and there being no cabs about." John looked at his wife who was already smiling up at him and let out a hearty laugh.

"Of course I didn't think she was cheating on me, she knows better than that." Olivia nervously giggled again.

"Well, I should probably be going…" Elliot backed away from the door and nodded at John. "And remember what I said, Olivia." Olivia nodded and closed the door firmly on Elliot. Standing staring at it for a moment more, Elliot sighed deeply and made his way back to his car.

* * *

On the other side of the door, Olivia had moved into the kitchen and was looking through the cupboards for an Ibuprofen. John leant against the door frame and watched her. Having dry swallowed the tablet, Olivia made to squeeze past him but was stopped by his strong hand gripping her upper arm and pulling her to a stop.

"Where did you go tonight?" Olivia looked down at her feet, not daring to meet his eyes.

"The hospital, like I said." John roughly shook her and pulled her chin up so she had no choice but to look at him. They stood, staring at each other for another minute before he pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear.

"If I find out you've been lying to me…" John roughly pushed Olivia away and, with her centre of balance off-kilter, she tripped and only just managed to put her hands out in time to save her nose from the wooden floorboards. John laughed as he stepped over her and into their bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Olivia blinked back the tears and, using the coffee table, levered herself off the floor. Luckily the Ibuprofen was working and her stomach hadn't been hurt. Collapsing onto the couch, she pulled the blanket over her tired body and let her head fall onto the nearest cushion, welcoming the peaceful relief sleep would bring her. By morning, John would be gone and she would have another week of peace before he returned.

**So there it is. I hope it's okay and I know everybody has a different vision for this talk/argument but this was mine, given their situation. Next chapter, a little road trip. And remember, let me know what you think! **


	6. Chapter 6

**I am so so sorry for leaving you for like a week. I got halfway through this chapter and then got really stuck and had a mini crisis. I couldn't decide how to continue the story and felt what I had originally planned was a bit crap and anti-climatic so I had to re-think it all. However, here it is.**

**Thankyou thankyou thankyou for all the lovely reviews, they mean so much to me and each one brightens my day even more.**

**This is sort of a filler chapter and is pretty short but I felt it was a good place to stop, I'm going to start writing the next chap immediately while I'm still in the mood. **

**Warning: Rated M for some sexual violence.**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

"Hey Nick, fancy a road trip?" Nick looked up from his paperwork and swivelled his chair to face whomever had spoken to him. His eyebrows rose in anticipation as he saw Elliot striding toward his desk.

"Well I have this weekend off..."

"Good, pack a bag and meet me back here in an hour." With that, Elliot slapped Nick on the shoulder and strode back out of the squad room, leaving Nick perplexed and intrigued.

Exactly an hour later, he was stood outside the precinct when Elliot pulled up and he jumped in.

"Where are we off to?"

"Newark. Reach on the back seat, there's a folder. I need you to read it." Still confused, Nick reached over and brought back a manila folder stuffed with papers. He opened it and was faced with a rather unflattering photo of, what he supposed, was the perp. However, upon closer inspection he realised he recognised this face.

"Hang on, isn't this Liv's husband? John?" Elliot nodded, not taking his eyes off the road as he made his way into the Holland Tunnel. Nick continued to read through the papers and realised what Elliot was planning on doing. "Where did you get this information? I mean you've got his cell luds and bank statements. You shouldn't have this."

"I was owed a few favours within the NYPD. Let's just leave it at that." Nick smiled and shook his head.

They were halfway there when Nick finished reading over what Elliot had discovered.

"You really care about her then?" Elliot was surprised at the sudden sound and the bluntness of Nick's question.

"Yeah I do. I never stopped caring." Elliot barely heard the muttered reply but Nick's tone was clear,

"Coulda fooled me." Elliot took a deep breath and prepared himself for the inevitable questions that would soon arise.

"So where are we headed then?"

"Well I've booked us a room at the Best Western and John's at The Hilton. He's booked it for the weekend so I assume he's using a conference as cover."

"Have you checked to see if there actually is a conference there?"

"Yes. He's not that stupid and if Liv suspected anything he would need a believable cover." Elliot's tone was harsh and Nick paused before speaking again.

"What if he genuinely is going to a conference this weekend?"

"Then I'll look stupid and we'll be in the shit with Liv but I know his type. The wife is never enough, there's always somebody new when they go away 'on business'." Nick leafed back through all the information.

"So what's the plan?" Elliot continued to look forward at the road.

"I hadn't got that far yet. That's where you come in." Nick couldn't help but let out a short sharp laugh.

"Somehow I didn't think I was the muscle on this trip." Elliot laughed as well, although cautiously. He still didn't know how much Nick knew of his past or even if Nick liked him. "He's booked a table for tonight at Adega Grill so either he's already planned a meeting with someone or he's pretty confident about picking someone up. I say we drop our bags and wait for him to leave his hotel, follow him and see what happens." Elliot nodded in agreement, cursing silently that he hadn't thought of such an easy plan.

* * *

They had long since dropped their bags off at their hotel and were sat, waiting, outside The Hilton for John to appear. The silence was comfortable but Elliot could feel tension slowly creeping in as Nick was visibly having an argument with himself. Finally, Nick broke the silence.

"So? Twelve years?" Elliot just nodded. "That's a hell of a long time..." Elliot smiled

"You have no idea." he sighed, "Sometimes, she was the only reason I got up in the morning. She would be there and everything would be alright for a while." Nick's eyebrows shot up his forehead.

"You...? And... Olivia? I... I didn't think... I mean after Haden I thought she never would have done _that_ before-" Elliot laughed as Nick flustered.

"No, I never slept with her Nick." Nick visibly relaxed. "Apart from an icky period when we separated, I have never and will never cheat on my wife. And especially not with Olivia." He paused again; deciding how to put into words what he felt about the woman he had loved, in some way, for the past fourteen years. Some things in life, he realised, just aren't possible. "She always came back to me. She was an anchor, a rock, something to cling onto when the whole world was falling. I discovered one time what she really meant to me and we lost the vic. I pushed her away and she came back... in her own way. I never pushed her again and she never left me again." Nick nodded, surveying the street for any sign of John. "What has she told you about me?" the question shocked both men. Nick because of its vulnerability and the pleading, longing behind the voice. Elliot because he had never meant to ask it, never meant to show Nick his one weakness.

"Not much to start with. A lot of the stuff I picked up through gossip and what I had heard back in Narcs. I knew you were one of the longest partnerships left in the force and you were practically married. I knew you had the best closure rate from any department and I knew you're arguments were a sight to behold. After about a year, just before she found John, Liv started talking to me. I think she was finally getting over your leaving and was ready to move on." Maybe that's why she married John, Nick thought. But he knew his life was at risk if he said that in front of Elliot so he kept quiet.

Unbeknownst to him however, Elliot was thinking exactly the same thing and he could feel his cheeks flush slightly at the guilt. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Nick's rough tone.

"She told me how she considered you her best friend and that she had never been with a man for as long as she was with you. She told me how she had ran once but she knew, deep down, she couldn't leave you and she told me-" Nick stopped and looked across at Elliot, who had been staring intently at the road ahead but now turned to face him. He shook his head and sighed but didn't speak again.

"What did she tell you?" Nick paused again,

"That's for her to tell you, not me." Elliot banged his fist down on the steering wheel.

"Fucking tell me Nick." Nick didn't even flinch but leant forward, his attention drawn to something further down the street. "Dammit Nick-" but Elliot was stopped by Nick's hand.

"That's him!" he exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at a man walking down the steps of the hotel and into a cab. Elliot turned just in time to see John's head disappear into the car before it pulled off. He turned the ignition and pulled out, two cars behind the cab, as it made its way into the city centre.

* * *

Elliot and Nick had taken it in turns, following John into bars as he drank his way around Ironbound. So far he had attracted the attention of almost every woman in every bar he had entered but none were good enough for him. Finally, three hours after leaving the hotel, Elliot called up Nick from the latest bar.

"He's got a girl. Leaving in approx five minutes, my guess is he's to Adega with her."  
"Okay, I'll follow him up and see if I can get a line from the car. If not, you're gonna have to follow him in." Elliot hung up and Nick started up the car, following the couple who had just exited Manu's Bar and Lounge. He had parked up opposite the restaurant when Elliot tapped on the window and Nick leaned over to let him in. "We're in luck, he picked the table by the window. So long as nobody parks there," he pointed across the road, "then we're set." Elliot nodded and picked up the discarded binoculars as Nick adjusted the telephoto lens. They sat in silence and watched as John ordered a bottle of champagne. "What are we going to tell Liv?" Elliot paused, in truth he had no idea how he was going to break this to his friend either.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Nick smiled slightly and nodded.

Eventually, after four courses, John moved closer to his date and Nick sat up straighter, bringing the camera up. It clicked rapidly as he took a few dozen photos. On the other side of the street, John was now raising his hand to call for the bill. Less than five minutes later, both him and his date were on the street waiting for a taxi. Nick managed to snap them getting in and the taxi pulling away before having to start up the engine again and pulling out behind the cab. The men followed John back to his hotel where Nick managed to catch a few more photos of both John and his date entering the lobby.

"Do you think that's enough? We aren't gonna get any closer." Elliot watched as the doors of the lobby closed before turning to Nick.

"Olivia's not stupid. She knows what's happening even if she doesn't want to believe it. She just needs some proof. This will be more than enough. Tomorrow morning we go to a print shop and get these photos developed, by tomorrow evening we'll be back in Manhattan knocking on her door." Nick pulled out of their parking space and turned left toward their hotel.

"What if John's there when we get back?" Elliot shook his head.

"His cover is a weekend conference. He won't be home till Sunday evening at the earliest. We've got plenty of time." Nick nodded and they continued the journey in silence, Elliot clicking through the photos and deciding which ones he was going to print.

* * *

Last time, he'd picked up a blonde. She'd kept to all the stereotypes; ditzy, airheaded but a whole lot of fun. This time, however, he had chosen a brunette with deep, hazelnut eyes and a bronzed tan. As he watched her curved form enter his hotel room it suddenly struck him, the similarities between this beautiful woman (her name was Jackie or Josie he thought) and his wife were striking. But a shrug of his shoulders flew such a coincidence out of his mind as the woman turned to face him, her eyes almost black with desire, all other thought of his wife disappeared aswell.

Soon, the woman was naked and squirming beneath him. Her eyes, previously closed, were now wide with terror and her breaths were becoming more laboured and shallow as he slowly closed his hand around her throat with each thrust. Finally, she became silent and only his deep breaths could be heard. As the light left her eyes, he forced himself into her one last time and clenched his hand around her throat as hard as he could as he rode out his orgasm. He lay over her for a few minutes, regaining his breath and reliving the last few minutes again. Finally, he levered himself off her body, stood and stretched. He looked down at Josie's (that name suited her he had decided) limp body and smiled to himself. Tonight had been the best. He hadn't had sex this good in a long long time. As he made his away to the en-suite bathroom and started up the shower, the similarities between Josie and his wife came back to him. Josie's stomach was as toned and taut as his wife's had been and she had gasped in the same short, sharp way his wife did when he made her come. His grin widened as more and more came back to him and he was almost laughing as he stepped under the hot spray. Next time, he had decided, was going to be his Pièce de résistanceand it was going to be amazing.

* * *

"That's fourteen photos, size 11R. $36.65." Nick turned from the posters he was examining.

"I hope the NYPD are paying for this." Elliot laughed.

"Me too." He paid the cashier and picked up the envelope. Outside the shop, both men huddled against the bitter wind to look at the photos. "These have come out pretty good Nick, you've got a steady hand." Nick smiled at the compliment and leafed through the second half of the pile.

"And I managed to get the kiss. Hopefully she'll see who he really is and actually listen to us for once." Elliot laughed sharply.

"Chance would be a fine thing. Don't count on it, we're still gonna have to work hard to persuade her he's a good for nothing bastard." They made their way back to Elliot's car and immediately pulled out onto Raymond Boulevard, heading East toward Pulaski Highway.

"Should I call Olivia up and tell her we're coming over. Make sure she doesn't go out." Elliot shook his head.

"If we tell her we're coming over, she'll make sure to be out when we get there. The best way is to surprise her and charm our way in." Nick laughed.

"Finally, the true reason I was brought along on this trip." Elliot joined in the laughter as they pulled onto the highway and sped across the Passaic River toward home.

**Sorry it's so short but I'm writing the next chap as we speak.**

**Next time, Elliot and Nick confront Olivia but will she listen to the man who betrayed her? (Probably not, it is Olivia after all.)**

**And please review, they make me so happy :) Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, thankyou again for all your lovely lovely reviews. They mean so much to me. I'm sorry this is a few days later than I normally update but I was out all day Sunday and my family dragged me on a walk yesterday cos it was a holiday :( However, this chapter is extra long so hopefully that makes up for it.**

**Please don't stop reviewing though, even if it's (constructive) criticism. I want to hear if you don't like it as well because then I know what to work on for my next story.**

**Okie dokie, off to introduce my sister to SVU, she has been warned hahaha. Enjoy :)**

**DISCLAIMER: All SVU characters belong to Dick Wolf.**

He had awoken next to the still body of his latest date. Her head was turned away from him but he knew her eyes were open and wide and staring at the bathroom door. He stretched out and yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Reaching over, he called up room service for a continental breakfast before standing and making his way over to the shower. He had just exited the hot, steamy bathroom when room service knocked and he opened the door in the hotel's soft white robe.

"Enjoy your breakfast sir, have a good day." He smiled pleasantly at the maid and took the tray from her, placing it down on the side table just inside his room, and returned to the bathroom. Giving himself a quick shave, he combed over his hair and opened the closet. He chose an open shirt and cream slacks, returned to his breakfast and sat in the plush armchair to watch the morning news.

Finishing the last of his orange juice, he stood and gathered the discarded clothes from around the king sized bed. He then pulled out the largest suitcase he had brought and lifted the woman clean off the bed. Her head lolled back but the rest of her body stayed semi-rigid. Kneeling down, he lay Josie down into the suitcase, curling her legs up into a foetal position and placing her hands under her head. Smoothing the glossy hazelnut hair out of her face, he closed her eyes and placed a feather light kiss on her forehead. Leaning back on his heels, he looked over her body and smiled. Stuffing her clothes into a side pocket, he zipped up the suitcase and replaced it alongside his own bags. Last night had been a lot of fun but tomorrow night he'll be back home and this time his wife _will_ be ready.

* * *

Fin heard the commotion first and looked up in time to see a rather flustered Elliot storm through the squad room toward Cragen's office. Nick hurried behind, a look of determination encompassing his features. Fin stood and moved to follow them but halted as Nick firmly shut the door behind him and closed the blind. Frowning, he turned to Amanda who had also looked up from her work and raised his eyebrows. She shrugged and turned back to her form as Fin looked back at the office one last time and sat back at his desk.

It was nearly fifteen minutes before the three men exited the office and Fin and Amanda had gazed over at the office numerous times when the voices within rose above the general noise of the bullpen. Elliot and Nick immediately left and Cragen walked over into the centre of the room to address the detectives.

"What's happening people?" Fin rose from his seat and leant back on his desk as the officers and other detectives gathered around.

"Amanda and I are writing up the assault at the bodega on West Forty-Seventh Street. We got a lead on the Redshaw case so Danny and Emma are out following that and Munch is still down in Philly helping them out with their serial rapist." Cragen nodded and sighed before turning back to his office.

"Good work guys, keep it up." The crowd dispersed, returning to their mundane duties and preparing for the onslaught of cases that would arrive after a Saturday night out. Amanda walked over to Fin and sat down at Olivia's desk to face him.

"What's happening with Munch?" Fin looked up.

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well why has he been drafted in, of all people. Aren't they stressed enough with a serial rapist?" Fin laughed,

"He was the only detective we could spare, with Liv off and Nick having the weekend off. I guess we're too important." It was Amanda's turn to laugh now.

"But what's the case?" Fin leaned forward and Amanda copied.

"Rapes in Philly, Detroit, Atlantic City, Boston and Cleveland. None of them were linked because they were in different states and none of the victims fit a pattern. They asked for our help so we sent down Munch." Amanda laughed again and this time Fin joined in, leaning back in his chair. "They probably won't catch him, Munch said they have zero evidence and none of the vics can ID him-"

"Or they won't," Amanda finished. She rolled her eyes and stood to walk back to her own desk. "I hope they do catch the bastard."

* * *

Elliot pulled out of West 30th Street and onto Sixth Avenue. Pulling into the inside lane, he sped north toward Central Park. Nick watched the city fly by from the passenger seat but he couldn't help fidgeting. Elliot could feel the nervous energy radiating from him and turned to Nick as he came to a stop at a set of lights.

"Don't worry Nick, if she kicks off it'll be aimed at me. Just stand back; I know how to handle her temper." Nick frowned,

"I've been on the receiving end of Olivia's anger before. I know what to do." Elliot stayed silent. He could feel another argument brewing and the nerves they were both feeling didn't help but now wasn't the time or the place. Silence enveloped the two men as Elliot drove on and pulled into Olivia's street, parking up across the road from her apartment. The men stayed silent as they crossed the street and entered her building. Reaching her floor, Elliot suddenly turned,

"I'll start, you back me up okay?" Nick nodded, perfectly happy for Elliot to take the immediate blame. Elliot nodded once and turned to the door labelled 4D, knocking once. Muffled voices could be heard through the door and Elliot turned to Nick who looked just as worried. Turning back, Elliot prayed to God John hadn't returned early and knocked again, slightly louder this time. Both men heard a quiet shuffling as someone walked closer to the door and then the sound of a key in the lock. Olivia's head was just visible in the gap allowed by the chain lock. Her hair was untidy and her eyes were full of sleep.

"El? What are you doing here?" Elliot smiled.

"I ...we need to talk to you." Olivia frowned at the change in pronoun. She opened the door slightly further and noticed the shirt sleeve on the other side of her door.

"Who...?" Nick turned out from the wall to stand next to Elliot.

"Can we come in?"

Olivia stood in shock. She nodded slowly and closed the door to remove the chain lock before opening it further and stepping back to let the men in.

"Err make yourselves at home, let me just put something on." Both men watched as she retreated back into her bedroom, yawning, and both considered the oddity of Olivia sleeping in past nine. She returned in her sweats and a hoodie and sat down on the couch. Elliot gingerly sat down next to her but Nick stayed standing next to the window. "So what do you want?" Elliot looked down at the folder in his hands and glanced up at Nick. However, he had moved over to the photographs on the shelf and missed Elliot's attempt at eye-contact. "C'mon El, I haven't got all day. What the hell do you want?" Elliot could sense her irritation but paused. In truth he had no idea how to go about telling Olivia what himself and Nick had found out in Newark.

Olivia had been looking at Elliot but now her gaze dropped to the folder in his lap and the knuckles, white with the strain of gripping it hard. "What's in the folder?" She watched as Elliot closed his eyes and saw Nick pause for a second out of the corner of her eye before he resumed his study of her photos. "Elliot?" She reached across and tried to take the folder from him but he held on, unwilling to break her heart just yet. "Elliot! Give me the goddam folder and stop messing about."

"Give it to her Elliot." Elliot opened his eyes at Nick's voice and looked at him before back at Olivia. The fury in her eyes was unmistakable but beneath it was worry. As he continued to stare at her, the anger slid away and all that was left was the pain and the sadness and a realisation of what Elliot was about to tell her. Elliot saw a depth in her eyes he thought he would never witness.

"Just let me see, please." She whispered but both men clearly heard it and, reluctantly, Elliot let go of the folder.

Olivia opened it up and was immediately faced with an 11x14 photo of her husband in close proximity with another woman. She leafed through the other photos, showing no reaction to them. Slowly, she placed them back onto the coffee table and stared at them, her hands clasped in her lap and her head bowed. Both men stayed silent, waiting for Olivia or the other to speak.

"Why?" Neither man was sure they had heard her this time, both stayed still and silent. Suddenly, Olivia lunged across at Elliot, throwing a punch into his side on her way. "WHY!? Why did you do that? Follow him, take the stupid fucking pictures and ruin everything!?" By this point both were on the floor, Olivia straddling Elliot and hitting and punching any part of him his arms weren't protecting. "I was happy! I loved him and he loved me and then you turn up, out of the blue and you ruin EVERYTHING." She screeched at him, her punches getting weaker and weaker and sobs getting louder. Nick, who had stood frozen in shock, leaped around the sofa and pulled Olivia away from her ex-partner. She immediately began kicking and hitting him but he wrapped his arms around hers and lifted her off the ground and back toward the shelf and side cabinet. Feeling Olivia slump in his arms, he relaxed his grip and allowed her to stand. Immediately she turned and faced him, her nose mere inches from his. "And you! I trusted you. I thought you understood how much I loved John and you went with him. You went behind my back with HIM." She jabbed a finger at Elliot who was still lying on the floor, breathing heavily." Nick opened his mouth to protest but was cut off. "Don't." He backed away and left Olivia standing in the middle of the room. Her voice was quieter, her head bowed as she spoke. "You spied on my husband a-a-and..." the rest of her sentence disappeared into a sob and Olivia collapsed onto her knees on the floor. Elliot sat up, wiping the drips of blood from his split lip and leaned over toward her but the moment his hand touched her shoulder, Olivia jerked back and toppled onto her bum. She drew her legs up to her chest and leant her forehead on her knees, deep sobs wracking her body. Elliot stayed sat on the floor and looked up at Nick who was frozen, staring down in shock at his partner.

Finally, Olivia's sobs quietened to snivels and shallow, shaky breaths. She reached over to the arm of her couch and levered herself up, falling back into the soft cushions. Elliot pulled himself off the floor and sat down on the other end of the couch. Olivia's eyes were still closed but she shifted away in response to the added weight on her couch. The movements brought Nick out if his reverie and he moved around the couch and into the kitchen. Having received no response from Olivia, Elliot slowly stood and walked to the bathroom to clean up his face

Something had snapped inside her. She had only allowed such anger to course through her veins a few times in her life. But something had just clicked in her mind and she had lunged at Elliot. Only he wasn't Elliot anymore, he was everything she hated and despised. He was every time the perp had walked free these past two years. Every time she had turned and found whoever her partner was half a step further behind than he would have been. He was every sleepless night and fruitless day and prick who called themselves a defence lawyer. But the reason she had fallen in defeat was because _he_ had to be the one who had shown her the truth. The truth she already knew but had never wanted to admit. Her marriage was a sham. She was getting old, unable to catch the perp like she used to. And when she did catch them, they managed to walk. The victims had stopped coming to her desk at the precinct and instead made a beeline for Amanda's. That should've set off the alarm bells but she hadn't wanted to admit she was getting too old for the job because it scared her. There was nothing except the job and without it, Olivia would be nothing. She had tried convincing herself it wasn't true but no matter how hard she tried, her life revolved around her job.

She pulled her legs up under her and laid her head on the back of the couch. She could hear Elliot turning the taps on and off in the bathroom and Nick opening and closing cupboards in her kitchen. God knows what he must think of her now. Olivia took a deep breath and opened her eyes. The six o'clock news was just beginning and she allowed the lead stories to wash over her, not listening and not caring.

Suddenly, however, Elliot was striding out of the bathroom, calling Nick as he went. Nick returned from the kitchen with a glass of water which he set in front of Olivia before turning his attention to the television. They managed to catch the tail end of the titles before the camera panned across to the anchor.

"And our top story today. A body has been found in a dumpster outside The Hilton hotel in Newark, New Jersey. The body is of a young female aged between eighteen and thirty. She was found naked at around five forty-five this evening and early reports suggest she was sexually assaulted. This statement from Captain Georgia Henshaw from Newark's Homicide Unit."

"At around five thirty this evening the body of a young, dark haired, Caucasian woman was discovered at The Hilton hotel. We believe she was raped and our preliminary reports suggest she was strangled. We believe she is a victim of the serial rapist Philadelphia's Special Victims Unit has been following and, hopefully, she will bring us one step closer to finding the man who is responsible. We are working closely with Philadelphia SVU and a number of other Police Departments in the East Coast area and we are asking that if anybody in the Newark area saw anything suspicious, either earlier today or late last night, around The Hilton hotel could come forward and speak to an officer at our precinct or contact our confidential tip line on the number at the bottom of the screen. Thank you." The camera then panned the outside of The Hilton hotel, showing the police tape and officers milling around before cutting back to the anchor in the studio who continued with the next story on her bulletin. Elliot turned to look at Nick, who was wearing the same shocked expression Elliot assumed he himself was wearing. Olivia, sat between the two men, looked from one to the other.

"Guys? What's wrong?" Both men ignored her.

"Nick we were there. How-"

"It probably wasn't her Elliot. It's probably a hooker one of the other guests picked up." But Elliot wasn't convinced and Nick could hear the uncertainty in his own voice. Olivia, sick of being ignored again, stood up between them.

"What the hell is going on? What's that story got to do with any of this?" She waved her hand at the spread of photos on the coffee table. Nick walked behind the couch and started pacing.

"Liv, we followed John to The Hilton last night. He had a young, dark haired Caucasian with him when he went in, look." Nick leant over the back of the couch and pointed out the woman in the restaurant photos. Olivia leaned down and peered at the photos.

"No." Elliot turned from the television to Olivia.

"Liv-?"

"No. That wasn't him. He wouldn't do something like that. NO!" Tears were springing from her eyes again but she was angry now. Nick walked back around the couch and tried to reach her shoulder but Olivia shrugged him off. "No, no, no, no, no! You're lying. He wasn't staying at The Hilton; he was at the one by the airport. Look, I have the receipt." Olivia moved to push past Elliot and head toward her desk but was stopped by his strong arm around her waist. "Get off me El, let me past so I can prove you're both lying." Olivia's voice was loud but she was no longer fighting his arm. She slumped and Elliot turned her toward him, his other arm reaching across her shoulders and drawing her into his chest. Her forehead rested on his chest as the sobs coursed through her body for the second time that night. All Elliot could do was hold her.

* * *

Soon Elliot had moved both himself and Olivia onto the couch. Olivia was curled up in his lap, her eyes closed and her breathing even. Nick leant against the shelves and crossed his arms.

"How do you do it?" Elliot looked across at the voice.

"Do what?"

"Get her to curl up in your lap when ten minutes ago she was ready to kill you." Elliot smiled and looked down at Olivia's peaceful expression.

"Like you said, twelve years is a long time." Nick stayed silent so Elliot decided to continue. "She trusts me. I don't know how or why but she does. She knows that no matter what I do or where I go she's the first person I'm thinking of when I wake up and the last person I'm thinking of when I fall asleep. She's the only woman who knows more about me than I do and she's the person who was always there when nobody else believed me."

"But two years. If she means this much to you, why did you go?" Elliot looked away from Nick's accusing eyes and softly stroked Olivia's shoulder.

"I don't know." He stopped, considering what to say next. "There isn't an easy answer or a black and white answer to that… Have you ever killed someone?" Nick nodded.

"A few times when I was UC. And as a cop, it's all part of the job."

"Have you ever killed a twelve year old girl whose mom was raped and then shot at point blank range infront of her?" Silence hung in the air. Nick didn't respond, couldn't respond. Eventually he shook his head.

"No. I've never shot a kid."

"She was younger than my youngest daughter. She was getting ready for her school prom and I ended her life." Elliot looked down at Olivia and he could feel moisture in his eyes. "That's why I left. That's why I didn't answer her calls or come and see her. That little girl had so much to live for and I just put a stop to it. How could I hold a gun again? How could I sit across from a rape victim or another child and not think, will this one be next? Will I have to shoot this one too?" Elliot looked up at Nick, his eyes dry once again. "You have no idea what that does to you. But I am so glad she will never have to know." Nick's eyebrows knotted slightly. "Liv would kill herself before shooting a child." Nick nodded solemnly. The two men lapsed into a thick silence as both watched the woman they admired and respected beyond anything sleep in the safety of Elliot's arms.

* * *

Nick's voice broke the silence.

"We need to get her out of here Elliot. She isn't safe." Elliot nodded.

"I could ask Kathy but…" Nick shook his head.

"Our houses aren't safe. This guy is a psychopath." Elliot sighed and opened his mouth to reply when he was interrupted by a soft voice from his chest.

"Take me to the precinct. I'll be safe there." Olivia opened her eyes and shifted so her head was resting on Elliot's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Liv; we didn't mean to wake you." Olivia smiled a mischievous smile.

"I wasn't sleeping." Elliot looked up at Nick who laughed nervously.

"How much did you hear?" Olivia turned to look at her partner,

"Pretty much everything." Elliot sighed and shook his head.

"You were always good at pretending to sleep." Olivia laughed and sat up, stretching. She leant back on the couch cushion and looked at Elliot. He looked back at her, his crystal blue meeting her chocolate brown.

"Thank you."

Olivia stood and stretched again before walking toward her bedroom.

"I'm gonna pack a few things then I'll be ready to go." She half closed the door behind her before poking her head out again, "and don't think you guys are off the hook yet. I'm still pissed at both of you." Laughing, she closed the door fully.

Elliot stood and stretched the cramp from his arms.

"I should probably call Cragen; tell him what we're doing and what we found out." Elliot nodded and Nick moved back into the kitchen.

"Captain? It's Amaro. We're bringing Olivia in; we don't think she's safe here." Nick paused to hear what Cragen was saying, "Yeah Cap, Elliot's here." Nick walked to the window where Elliot was staring out across the city. "Cragen wants a word." Elliot took the phone and turned back to the window.

"Don? Yeah…yes…yeah she is. No I don't think she's hurt but… Don it was her idea." Silence from the other end of the line followed until a faint okay. Elliot passed the phone back to Nick.

"Cap? There's something else we think you should know. As you know Elliot and I were in Newark last night and we think we know who their perp is." A voice on the other end before Nick took a deep breath. "John Clarke." A flurry of questions followed. Finally Nick was able to answer. "Yes as in Olivia's husband, we'll tell you the full story when we get to the precinct but we should check out where Clarke was at the time of the other attacks." More talking on the other end and a shout for Fin and Amanda before more instructions to Nick. "Okay Cap… yes sir. See you in about twenty minutes." Nick hung up as Olivia walked out of her room holding a duffle bag. "All set?" Olivia nodded and walked over to her counter to pick up her keys and cell. Nick took her bag as Elliot led the way out of her apartment and down to his car.

* * *

The squad room was empty when the trio entered which Olivia was grateful for. She headed straight for the cribs, shouting over her shoulder as she went.

"Let's see of you remember how I take my coffee." Elliot laughed and turned toward the coffee machine. Nick dropped Olivia's bag beside her desk and booted his computer up. Elliot returned with two steaming mugs, the jug of milk and a bunch of sugar sachets.

"Sorry, I didn't know how you took it." He set one mug and the milk and sugar down beside Nick and picked up Olivia's bag, sliding it over his shoulder. "I'll just take these up to her and then we'll start looking into Munch's pattern. Nick nodded and began loading the relevant search pages.

Elliot cautiously pushed the cribs door open with his shoulder. The room was empty but the bed furthest from the door had been turned down and Olivia's sweats and hoodie were strewn across the comforter. The sound of running water was coming from the women's locker room and Elliot placed the steaming mug of coffee on a side table and dropped Olivia's bag at the foot of her bed.

He automatically sat on the bed opposite hers and was struck by a strong sense of déjà vu as he recalled many a night spent in the crib opposite his sleeping partner. Elliot was so caught up in his memories that he failed to notice the water stop and so was shocked when Olivia suddenly reappeared wrapped in nothing but a blue fluffy towel, her hair falling in wet straggles around her shoulders.

"El..." She breathed, just as shocked to see him sat there. Elliot, whose attention had been concentrated on Olivia's face, couldn't help but sweep his gaze across his old partners toned body. He felt Olivia squirm under it but took no notice as be found the patchwork of yellow and grey bruises around her upper arms. He gasped and stood, taking a step toward her. Olivia responded with a large step backwards toward the showers and crossed her arms, hiding the bruises in her grip."Elliot, get out. I need to change." Elliot took another step forward and Olivia tried to back up but was met with the solid brickwork of the crib wall. "Please?" Elliot shook his head.

"Not until you tell me how you got those." he pointed at the bruises but his eyes stayed locked with hers, refusing to let them go. It took all of Olivia's strength to keep her eyes staring at his and not drop her gaze.

"Don't Elliot, it's nothing. Honestly." Elliot stepped closer, removing what little space had been between them.

"Tell me." he reached his hand up toward her cheek but Olivia flinched away and attempted to duck beneath the raised arm. Elliot stilled, trying to regain contact with the eyes that had now dropped to the floor. Lowering his arm, he instead reached for her chin and slowly, carefully, raised it until her eyes had no choice but to meet his. "I'm sorry." His voice was barely a whisper as he brought his other hand back up to Olivia's cheek. This time she stayed perfectly still and Elliot took this as permission to continue. He moved the dripping strands of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. He moved his other hand to cup her other cheek and looked down into the deep swirls of her eyes.

"You broke my heart." her voice was quiet but it sounded deafening to Elliot. She blinked and a single tear fell from her eye like a crystal, tracking down her fresh, flushed face before collecting in Elliot's palm. Elliot felt the hot pricks of tears gather in his eyes and tried as hard as he could to keep them there but the warm liquid took on a life of its own and fell down his cheek. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I know no amount of words will ever make up for what I did to you but please believe me. I didn't mean to hurt you, ever, and I am sorry." Elliot felt the head beneath him move and brought his head up.

"I know." More tears had streamed down her face and Elliot brought both thumbs across her cheeks to wipe away the water. He took half a step backward but was stopped by Olivia's hand grasping his forearm. She brought him close again and slid her hand up his bicep and to his cheek. Moving her head up, slowly, she hovered in front of his lips. Elliot was frozen, his lips parted slightly in surprise, his eyes concentrated on her mouth. Suddenly her soft, warm lips were on his. Her kiss was light yet full of meaning. Full of twelve years of boundaries and walking on eggshells around each other. His hand, still cupping her cheek, slid back into her hair as he began to kiss her back. She kept her mouth resolutely closed, warning him of one last boundary she was intent on keeping but the passion and emotion he could clearly feel in it lit a warm flame in the pit of his stomach.

All too soon, Olivia pulled away. Tears had started falling again and Elliot wiped them away before stepping back fully and gazing over her tear stained face.

"Thank you, for everything you've done." Olivia whispered and Elliot pulled her to him and kissed her forehead.

"You should probably get some sleep, Nick's calling Munch now to update him and the cap should be here any minute." Olivia nodded silently and Elliot stepped away again to let her past. He stayed staring at the wall for a few seconds before turning and striding out of the room.

* * *

"Elliot, I've had Munch on. Told him our suspicions and he's emailing me the dates and places of all the previous victims. Can you find where John was when each of the attacks occurred?" Elliot nodded and looked around the empty squad room. Munch's desk was immediately identifiable as was Fin's. Amaro was obviously sat at his own desk opposite a quiet, tidy looking desk that Elliot assumed must be the blonde's he saw earlier. But only one desk stood out to him, the same desk she had had two years previously and the only one he would ever feel comfortable at. Elliot sat down in the plush chair and almost laughed as his thighs bumped the desk. Adjusting it, he pulled up to the desk and booted up the computer. As he waited, his gaze fell across the chaotically organised surface of Olivia's desk. Papers were sorted into current and past cases in the background. A manila folder full of case notes sat in the middle of the desk, waiting for her to read when she returned. It was surrounded by pens and paperclips and other debris picked up from months of non-stop working. Behind the piles of notes, Elliot saw two picture frames. One showed a smiling Olivia in a flowing white dress, looking up at a man who was gazing down at her with warm eyes. He could clearly see the man was John and anger bubbled at the lie the photo represented. Next to this frame, however, was a smaller photo. Elliot moved the larger frame to uncover a photo of himself and Olivia at the first police ball they had attended as partners. Their heads were close and his arm was wrapped comfortably around her waist. Both wore warm smiles as they stared up to the camera. Elliot smiled as the anger dissipated and he felt warmth spread throughout his body.

The computer pinged and brought Elliot back to its screen. He grabbed the file Nick had passed him and started searching for John's whereabouts.

It was two hours later when Cragen called the squad to gather round. Amanda and Fin had also come into the office and the group of detectives were gathered around the briefing table. Munch's face was being broadcast onto one of the screens as Cragen began.

"Right guys, what have we got?" Elliot stood up and took the lead.

"Taking all the info Munch could give us, we've managed to link John to all but one of the attacks. He was in the city the night of all the attacks and witnesses have described a man matching him with all the victims." Fin spoke up,

"Amanda and I have called all the witnesses in the original reports and they all describe a six foot three balding man with dark hair. Well dressed and approx one-fifty pounds. They also pointed out what they assumed was a broken nose..."

"And John broke his nose last summer during a football tournament. I remember Olivia had to leave to go to the hospital." Amanda finished. Elliot nodded,

"I'm waiting for Detroit SVU to get back to me but we can link him to all the others."

"When's he due back?" Cragen asked.

"Tomorrow morning, he drops down at eleven o'clock." Amaro replied.

"Okay, tomorrow Elliot and Amaro you go and pick him up-"

"I can't cap, he thinks I'm a taxi driver." Cragen frowned in puzzlement at Elliot, who shook his head, before turning,

"Okay Fin, Rollins _you_ go pick him up tomorrow. Say something's happened to Liv and you need him to come down to the precinct asap. Don't let him catch wind of why you're really there; we don't want this guy running." Fin and Amanda nodded. Cragen turned to the screen, "When are you coming back John?"

"I'll hope on the first train home, should be with you in a few hours." Cragen nodded and closed down the video

"Right guys, get some rest. I want everybody awake and ready tomorrow morning. This guy won't crack easily." The detectives dispersed, muttering amongst themselves. Elliot moved back to Olivia's desk to sort the files and papers he had printed out. Cragen came up behind him.

"Can I have a word?" His voice was quiet so as to not attract the attention of the other detectives who were now debating which take out to order. Elliot nodded and followed Cragen into his office, shutting the door behind him. "Take a seat Elliot." Elliot sat down opposite his former Captain and relaxed back into the leather chair.

"What's up Cap?"

"How is she?" Elliot paused.

"In shock. She didn't believe us, even with the photos. She was angry that I had gone behind her back and lashed out but eventually we managed to calm her down."

"Is that how you got the lip?" Elliot smiled and touched his swollen lip slightly.

"Still has one hell of a right hook."

"What about this?" Cragen indicated the board with all their findings on.

"Again, she wouldn't believe us and I still don't think she does. We just wanted to get her out of there asap and she suggested the precinct so maybe there is something there, deep down." Cragen nodded.

"If she's sleeping just leave her but if she's awake bring her down and show her what we've found." Elliot nodded and stood. He had opened the door before he turned back and addressed Cragen again.

"Cap, is there any way we can get a counsellor in to speak to her?" Cragen's eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"Why? She hasn't been hurt has she?"

"It's just a hunch I have and if we ask her outright she'll just refuse." Cragen stared at Elliot before nodding.

"Okay, I'll find someone to talk to her tomorrow once we have him in custody." He looked at Elliot's expression of apprehension and sighed. "And I promise it won't be a department shrink. If she wants it off the record, it'll be off the record." Happy, Elliot thanked Cragen and left, crossing the empty squad room and climbing the stairs. As he reached the top, Fin walked out of the men's locker room.

"Elliot. We ordered Chinese so I got you what you usually had. Hope that's okay?" Elliot nodded.

"Is Liv awake?"

"Dunno, she was when I left about ten minutes ago but people have been in and out of there." Elliot thanked Fin and quietly opened the door to the cribs. Thankfully it was empty but with everybody staying over tonight, he knew it would soon be full. Circumnavigating the bunks, Elliot sat down on the one opposite the sleeping Olivia. She murmured in her sleep and a frown suddenly crumpled her features. Elliot stretched out a hand and slowly rubbed her shoulder. As soon as he began, her face relaxed back to its peaceful serenity. Elliot stood and turned to leave when a quiet voice stopped him.

"El...?" He sat back on the bed but Olivia's eyes were still closed and her breathing still even.

"Liv?" Olivia shifted and her eyes opened slightly.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah it's me."

"Wassup?" her voice slurred as she still lay in the dregs of a deep sleep.

"Just making sure you're okay."

"I'm good." Olivia closed her eyes fully again. Elliot stood again and walked back to the door.

"Goodnight Olivia"

"Love you to." He froze with his hand on the handle and turned back to Olivia's still form. Her head was now buried in her pillow and her breathing was slow and quiet. Elliot smiled at her, his stomach bubbling and his heart beating slightly faster than before.

"Love you Liv." Quietly, he opened the door and strode across the corridor to the locker room in search of a change of clothes.

**Hope you enjoyed it and remember please please please review, good or bad I don't mind :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's been so long. Life kinda took over for a while and I lost inspiration for this. Anyway I have three chapters now to uplaod tonight and only two more after that before it finishes I think so enjoy. Please review, it does mean a lot :)**

"Right, everyone know what they're doing?" The circle of detectives nodded. "Okay, Fin, Amanda off you go. Here's the warrant." Cragen passed the sheet of paper to the detectives as they sped out of the room. "Elliot, Amaro did we hear back from Detroit?" Nick nodded.

"They emailed me early this morning. John's their perp too. We've got him on all the attacks." Cragen smiled.

"Good work." he turned to Elliot. "Is Olivia up?"

"Last time I checked she was still asleep. Should I get her up?" Cragen considered before shaking his head.

"No, let her sleep. We'll wake her once he's here." Elliot nodded and returned to his desk where he was preparing interview notes.

Fin and Amanda drew up outside Olivia's apartment and stepped out of the car.

"Right, our cover: Liv's been injured by a perp while picking up some case notes. Refuses to go to hospital and keeps asking for him." Amanda nodded in agreement and held the door open for Fin who stepped inside and took the stairs two at a time. Rounding the last flight, Fin slowed and walked quietly down the corridor to Olivia's apartment. He was about to raise his arm and knock when Amanda stopped him. Silently she pointed to the fragments of wood covering the threshold and the door handle that hung slightly limp. Both detectives drew their guns and, on Fin's count, shouldered the door open and raced into the apartment. Circling the room, both detectives re-holstered their weapons and stood back to back staring at the carnage before them. The shelves and desk were empty, the contents strewn everywhere. As Fin walked around the coffee table, broken glass crunched under shoes and tore the already ruined photos scattered everywhere. Vases and plant pots that had once stood proud on Olivia's windowsills were now in pieces and covered in dirt on the floor, the plants torn apart in rage. Amanda walked through into Olivia's bedroom and found her entire closet thrown onto the floor, her drawers smashed and her pillows torn. Feathers lay everywhere.

Amanda retreated back into the living room to find Fin crouched down and shifting through a large pile of photographs on the floor.

"Here, Rollins, come look at this." Amanda bent down next to her partner and peered over her shoulder. She gasped as Fin flicked through and stopped on a close up of John kissing another woman.

"What are these?" Amanda stood again to allow Fin to get up.

"I dunno but I'm betting it has something to do with Stabler and Amaro's little road trip yesterday. I'm also guessing they were supposed to take these with them yesterday..." Fin collected all the photos together and stood. Surveying the scene one last time, Fin took out his cell to call Cragen.

"Hey Cap, slight problem. John knows about the photos, he's wrecked Liv's apartment and run." Silence as Cragen issued instructions on the other end and then, "Sure thing Cap, see you in an hour." Finishing the call, Fin turned back to find Amanda crouched down on the other side of the cabinet. "Wow, I wouldn't wanna be Stabler or Amaro right now-" he stopped as Amanda stood, worry etched all over her features.

"I think that's gonna be the least of their worries right now."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Liv's gun safe is empty." The silence hung between them.

"Shit." Amanda nodded. "I don't fancy calling Cragen back and telling him that little detail." Amanda shook her head. Fin looked at Amanda and opened his mouth but was cut off before he could utter a word,

"Not a chance. I'm going outside to wait for CSU." She headed for the door and threw a sickly sweet smile over shoulder. "Good luck." Fin sighed and pulled his cell out again.

"Captain. We have another problem, Liv's guns are missing." He paused, pulling the phone away from his ear. "She has a Glock 19 and her off duty is a SIG Sauer P239. Her Glock should be in her desk drawer, she left it when she went on sick leave." Fin paused again. "Yes Cap, see you soon." He hung up and sighed heavily. They were all going to be in the shit with this.

* * *

It was half past eleven and still Olivia had not made an appearance. Elliot had checked on her an hour ago and found her deep asleep and curled up under the comforter. Given the dark circles he had seen yesterday, Elliot hadn't had the heart to wake her and instead decided he would wait. At the time, he assumed Olivia would wake up within the next hour, in the twelve years he had been with her he knew she hadn't slept for more than eight hours a night but at the moment she was pushing twelve.

At ten past eleven, Elliot and Nick had been called into Cragen's office.

"What's up cap?" Elliot flopped down in one of the seats and relaxed back into the leather. Nick had stayed by the door, recognising Cragen's dark frown as trouble.

"Don't 'cap' me Elliot. You two well and truly fucked up and now we have a psycho with a gun on the loose." Elliot immediately sat up and Nick stepped closer.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Cragen turned his attention to Nick.

"Some idiot left the photos they had taken at Liv's apartment and John saw them. He then decided to trash her place and break into her gun safe…" Cragen left the sentence unfinished as Nick groaned and Elliot dropped his head into his hands. "Has she woken up yet?" Elliot brought his head back up and shook it. "Good. She doesn't need to know. Right well there's nothing we can do here. I've got people out looking for him but he's managed to slip through our fingers so far. You two stay here until Olivia wakes, I'll send Fin and Amanda out to search for him." Both detectives nodded and exited the office.

"We were so worried about Liv, we forgot about the photos." Elliot looked across at Nick.

"This isn't your fault Nick, I'll take full blame. I mean it was my idea after all." Nick shook his head.

"And I agreed to come with you. We're both equally to blame." He looked back into Cragen's office. "I know the cap said not to but I think we should tell Liv. She should be getting up soon anyway." Elliot nodded and they both headed for the stairs.

* * *

_How dare she? How dare she go behind his back, spy on him, take photos of him? How long had this been happening? How long had she been following him and he hadn't realised? How many-_ Thoughts swirled around his head as he sat opposite the tall, white marble building. He knew she was in there; this was the place where she felt safest. She had admitted it to him enough times. Just inside those black doors. He imagined her sat on the other side of the table, showing her precious partner what she'd found. Crying in his arms like the weak bitch he knew she really was. But that was going to stop. He couldn't allow that, she'd seen too much already.

But it was okay. She didn't know _everything_. From the photographs he had found, she just _suspected_ him of sleeping around. _Ha, if only it was just that. She would never know how much more it meant to him. Each time he had total control over her their bodies. Over whether they lived or died. Although, he never let them live. He had a power over them that nobody would understand and he wasn't about to relinquish that._

It had been easy. He had walked up the front steps, explained where he wanted to go to the ditzy desk sergeant and a quick flash of his charming grin had allowed him inside. He peered through into the squad room and immediately spotted her desk. However there was a man currently sat at it. The same man who had brought his beloved Olivia back from the hospital. _Who is this guy?_ But somebody was quickly approaching the entrance and he didn't want to be found just yet so he backed away and headed down the other corridor. He found a set of stairs at the end of this one and, checking behind him, carefully stepped up to the higher level. He continued along the relatively short hallway, past a number of doors, until he found himself at a small balcony and another set of stairs leading down into the bustling squad room. The man had disappeared from Olivia's desk but he didn't notice. Instead he backed up and opened the closest door as quietly as he could. It clicked shut behind him and he gazed across the spread of bunks. His eyes finally rested on a still body furthest from the door. The face was hidden in a pillow but the splay of dark hazelnut hair immediately gave the body's identity away.

_Perfect._

* * *

Nick took the lead, knocking gently on the cribs door before quietly opening it. Olivia's bed was empty, the sheet and comforter turned back as if she had just stepped out of it. He smiled and listened out for running water but frowned when no sound emerged from the shower room. Backing out, he turned to Elliot. He was already on high alert when he saw Nick hesitate in the doorway. When Nick turned back every single worst case scenario ran through his head simultaneously.

"What?" Nick shook his head silently and motioned for Elliot to go further along the corridor and enter through the women's shower room. Elliot silently nodded back and slipped away. Nick drew his gun and re-entered the room. Scanning it with his gun, he quickly slipped through the bunks to Olivia's and touched the exposed sheet. It was still faintly warm from her sleeping body but quickly cooling. The rest of the room was empty and as Nick rounded the bed to inspect her duffel, he found the clothes she had discarded there earlier still lying on top of the bag. He frowned and rose his gun again as he heard footsteps approach from the showers.

"It's Elliot; she's not in here either." Nick lowered his gun and re-holstered it.

"Shit."

"Look she's probably gone to the soda machine on the second floor or something." Nick raised his eyebrows and stepped back, pointing at her duffel bag.

"In her pyjamas?" Elliot's face crumpled.

"Shit shit shit. He took her. Right under our noses he took her." Nick moved over to the door and descended quickly back down into the squad room, Elliot followed close behind.

"Cap, we have a problem." Cragen exited his office and rolled his eyes.

"What now? The soda machine ran out of coke again?" The smile died on his lips as he saw Elliot storm down the stairs and out toward the men's bathroom. "What's happened?" Nick turned from watching Elliot's exit.

"Olivia's missing."

"What?! How the hell did that happen?" Cragen's face had turned red and his eyes shot daggers at Nick.

"He must have slipped into the building and gone up the other stairs-" Nick tried to explain but was interrupted.

"Jesus Nick you're supposed to be her partner." Nick's face fell slightly but the movement went unnoticed by Cragen who had already turned and slammed his office door shut. Nick stood in the middle of the squad room as the silence ebbed away and was replaced by the normal hustle and bustle.

* * *

Elliot leant over the sink, his head bowed and his eyes squeezed tight shut. How could he have let her down again? After he promised he would never leave her and now she had been taken and it was all his fault for not checking on her sooner. His arms shook before collapsing, leaving his forearms propped on the countertop. He dropped his head lower so it was resting on the arms and sighed heavily. He wasn't even supposed to be here and now he was to blame for the disappearance of one of NYPDs finest. Shit.

The door squeaked open behind him and swung closed with a click. The person who had entered didn't speak and Elliot was grateful for the silence. He didn't want anybody's sympathy right now and he certainly didn't want to speak to anyone. The person stood in silence, as if waiting for Elliot to make the first move. Elliot stayed still with his eyes firmly shut. He could feel the hot prick of tears begin to form behind his eyes and was determined not to break down in front of whoever this was. After a few minutes, Elliot heard the flick of a gun being unholstered and the scrape of metal as it was slid across the granite countertop.

"Hopefully you won't need it but just in case…" the person left the sentence unfinished and stood for a few seconds before exiting the bathroom again.

"Thank you." Elliot threw the word after the closing door. He heard it click again before looking up. Sat on the other side of the sink was a Smith & Wesson 5906. Elliot smiled slightly as he stood up and reached over for it. He turned it over in his hands, feeling the weight and the grip of it. Only one person in the squad carried this gun. Pushing the weapon into the waistband of his trousers and making sure his jumper covered it; Elliot pulled open the door and made his way back into the squad room.

* * *

The car swerved around the junction and into the empty lot. A marked police car was already there along with Fin and Amanda's Sedan. Both were empty.

"Sonofabitch I told him to wait." Elliot slammed the brakes on the car and leapt out, grabbing the gun from the dashboard as he went. They crept around the corner of the warehouse and saw an emergency door slightly open. Slowly and as quietly as he could, Elliot pulled the door open and slipped inside. Both men stood still, listening for any signs of the other officers but silence was all that echoed around the empty space. Elliot looked back at Nick who pointed down one aisle and then another. Elliot nodded and set off down his designated aisle. The scaffolding towered around them with crates and boxes here and there, waiting to be shipped out. He could hear the faint tap of Nick's shoes on the aisle adjacent to him but apart from that nothing. At the end of his aisle, he stopped and looked around again. Ahead was another aisle of scaffolding and crates but after that, darkness pooled and he couldn't see any further forward. Nick came up beside him; gun poised at his side, and looked down the same aisle.

"What's at the end there?" Nick whispered. Elliot shrugged.

"Let's find out." Both men walked down the aisle, guns pointed forward. As they moved further down, the light left them behind and the dark surrounded them fully.

Suddenly a bright white spotlight lit up the area in front of them. They had come to the end of the aisle and in front lay a maze of storage containers.

"Fuck." Elliot whispered as he scanned the area immediately before them. The spotlight was centred on a container two rows in. The door was slightly a jar. The rational part of his brain instantly told him to contact Fin and work out a plan of action. But the louder, irrational part told him Olivia was in there, hurt. Elliot immediately stepped forwards but was stopped by Nick's arm.

"It's a trap Elliot." Nick knew he was stating the obvious but he had seen the look in Elliot's eyes before and he knew this was a battle he would probably lose. Elliot stilled, keeping his gaze fixed on the open container. A few tense seconds passed and Nick stood, ready to chase Elliot. But eventually Elliot relaxed in the grip and nodded. Nick let go and Elliot stepped back so he was beside Nick once more.

"You go that way," Elliot pointed to the other side of the container to the left of them, "and I'll go there. Wait for my signal at the other end." Nick nodded, raised his gun to shoulder height and crept across. Elliot mirrored his movements and slipped down the opposite aisle. With two storage containers between them, Elliot could no longer hear Nick's footsteps. Instead, silence enveloped his ears until… Elliot stopped short and stood perfectly still. He held his breath and closed his eyes, listening.

"Unmph." This time he hadn't been mistaken. That was definitely a noise. He let out his breath and carried on to the end of the container, his feet tapping the ground as he practically ran. Peering around the corner, he saw Nick already there, waiting. Taking a deep breath he counted to three and nodded, both men ran out to the open container and Nick grabbed a hold of the handle, pulling it open. It made an almighty screeching noise as the rusty hinges slid past each other. Elliot immediately stepped inside, scanning the room with his gun. The bright spotlight had filtered through cracks in the metal and now spread in a fan shape through the open door. Nick quickly followed him in but stopped.

It was empty.

In the far corner, a green light blinked. Elliot stepped closer and crouched down. It was a laptop. He pulled the screen up and fell back in horror. Nick, hearing the clang of his body against metal, ran over and crouched down to peer at the screen. Taking in the scene before him he gasped and covered his mouth, feeling bile rise from his stomach. The video was silent but a rasping voice crackled through the laptop's speaker.

"Hello Detectives. Do you really think I would make it that easy for you? I expected much more from you Nick and Elliot…" the voice paused, "oh Elliot. You've let her down yet again, broken her heart and once again who is left to pick up the pieces but me? Her guardian angel, her saving grace. The one man she said she could trust." The angle of the video changed and Nick twisted away, his retches echoing around the metal walls. Elliot locked his fists into tight balls, unable to look away now but wishing he could wipe the images from behind his eyes. "Ah yes, I had forgotten which video I had left you with but now I remember. This was my most recent victim, particularly lovely and a brilliant starter to precede the main course. Her eyes shone the same deep brown as Olivia's and her skin was the same golden hue. It was amazing, watching the life leave those eyes and the skin pale and knowing I was responsible." As he spoke, the woman in the video started clawing at a hand around her throat. Her torso squirmed but her legs were stuck underneath the weight of her attacker and slowly, the hands stopped their attack and fell limp at her sides. "After experiencing that, I couldn't wait to feel what it would be like to take the life out of Olivia." The voice chuckled but it sounded more like a cackle over the speaker. Nick could see Elliot about to lose it. A vein had popped up in his neck and his breathing was short and shallow. Both fists were tight balls, waiting to fly through something solid. Nick reached over to drop the laptop screen when it changed and showed a different scene. He stopped; his arm still outstretched and watched this new scene unfold. Another woman was in this video but she was still alive. Her shoulder rising and falling at a constant, steady rhythm. This woman was asleep on a white leather couch, a cushion beneath her head and a navy blue blanket wrapped around her body. Suddenly the woman turned over so she was facing the camera and both men gasped. Her eyes were closed but neither man could mistake the shape of her face, the way her jaw was set even in sleep and the way her nose turned down slightly at the end.

It was Olivia.

The voice chuckled over the speaker again.

"I see you recognise her, which is promising. As you can see, she isn't where you are now but rather a much more comfortable place." The camera then zoomed out from the couch to show the surrounding room. Both detectives leaned closer to the laptop screen, taking in as much of the surroundings as they could. Suddenly the screen went black and the voice crackled.

"I'm afraid that's all you're going to get for now. Let's see if you find her in time or will you be responsible for her death as well?" the voice laughed again, the sound harsh and grating as it reverberated around the container once more. Then silence swallowed them again and the men were left staring at a black screen in the half light of the spotlight.

Nick's radio crackled at his hip and both men startled at the sudden noise.

"Amaro? Where are you man? Rollins and I have been sitting out here for ten minutes." Fin's gruff voice was unmistakeable. Elliot stood and turned to look at Amaro. He grabbed the radio from his hand and shouted into it as he strode out of the container and back into the warehouse. Nick stood and followed, grabbing the laptop as he went.

"Where the hell have you been Fin? I told you to wait for us."

"Whoa calm down man, we did a perimeter and found the open door so we came back to find your car open and empty." Elliot was now striding down the aisle back to the open door.

"He's taken her somewhere else Fin. She wasn't in here." He had reached the side door and squinted as the bright daylight momentarily blinded him. As his eyes grew accustomed to the increased light levels, he spotted Fin and Amanda leaning against their car, the patrol car was gone. He dropped the radio to his side and jogged over to where the two detectives were waiting.


	9. Chapter 9

"Whaddaya mean she isn't in there? This is the address, the warehouse belongs to him-"

"I mean she wasn't in there. This was a decoy, he's been playing us." Fin and Amanda had stepped away from the car as Elliot approached but both now stepped back at the ferocious anger emanating from their colleague. "He left this," Elliot took the laptop from Nick, "Amanda can you take it back to base and get TARU onto it. I want to know where the video was streamed from and when." Amanda nodded and opened the car door. As she pulled away and headed for the exit, Fin stepped back up to Elliot.

"What video?"

"He's got her somewhere, an apartment. She was sleeping the whole time, he probably drugged her." Elliot's breathing deepened as he tried to calm himself. Closing his eyes momentarily, he exhaled before continuing. "But the camera zoomed out at the end, she was lying on a couch infront of a window and I remember seeing trees, loadsa green outside."

"You thinking somewhere around Central Park?" Elliot shrugged.

"Seems a bit easy don't you think? I mean there are plenty of parks in Manhattan, he could've taken her to an apartment next to any one of them." Fin sighed and nodded in agreement.

Silence enveloped them as neither of the three men could fathom what to do next. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a trilling sound. Fin located his cell and answered.

"Rollins? What've you got for me?" a few grunts followed before, "thanks, we'll head over there right away." He hung up and started toward Elliot's car. Elliot and Nick followed.

"So? Where is she?" Knowing he didn't want the details, Fin answered succinctly with,

"80 West 40th Street." He continued into the car. Closing the door and seeing Elliot still frozen on the tarmac, he clambered back out. "What? Elliot we need to go. Now!" Shaken from his reverie, Elliot nodded and climbed into the driver's seat. Before Fin's door had closed, he was speeding out of the exit and back into the city.

"I need all units to 80 West 40th Street, we have an officer in a kidnap situation. Ambulance and hostage negotiator ready."Fin spoke into his radio as they sped further into the city. Turning onto Fifth Avenue, Elliot turned on the lights attached to his dashboard and drove faster as the cars before him parted. He swerved into West 40th Street to find the building in question cordoned off and half a dozen marked cars parked around it. As the three men exited their vehicle and jogged across to the NYPD control unit parked up next to the park, a dark blue sedan swerved in from the other end of the street and three figures emerged.

"Elliot, what the hell is happening? This morning we had Liv safe and sleeping back at the house and now I'm stood out here freezing my bollocks off because her psychopathic husband took her from under our noses."

"I'm just as angry as you are Cap. I dunno how it happened but I do know we're gonna get her back." Cragen's eyes bored into Elliot's but the younger man kept his gaze steady and resolute. Eventually the Captain nodded and opened the door to the Control Unit.

Suddenly a loud boom echoed across the park and the windows above them cracked and smashed, showering the empty sidewalk beneath with shards of glass. Everybody ducked, officers drawing their weapons as they rushed to crouch behind the strategically parked cars.

* * *

Olivia groggily opened her eyes to the dim room that lay before her. Her head pounded in time with her pulse and her throat scratched as she tried to take a deep breath. Groaning, she wondered why she felt so nauseous. Surely she hadn't been drinking? That last thing she remembered was collapsing into a bunk at the station. At this thought she sat bolt upright and opened her eyes fully. Instantly regretting the sudden movement she blinked hard, willing her vision to stop swirling and swimming. Finally, her eyes settled and started to focus. Slowly, Olivia turned her head and took in her surroundings. The room was modestly furnished, a couple of matching white leather armchairs sat immediately opposite her. In between a modern, glass topped coffee table and behind a side board before a small kitchenette. Olivia took another deep breath and braced herself on the couch before standing. The movement caused her vision to blur again and before she could balance, her knees gave out and she collapsed backwards.

"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." She could feel a warm tear track down her cheek as the nausea ebbed away again and feeling returned to her lower limbs. Taking a moment, Olivia again braced herself but was stopped suddenly, this time by the slamming of a door. After a shuffle and rustle of paper bags, a man rounded the corner into the main area of the apartment.

"Ah you're awake. Brilliant, finally we can get started."

"John? Why are you here? What's happened? Where are we?" Her husband chuckled at her confusion and set the bags on the counter before walking slowly toward Olivia.

"Can't you remember? Your little pals in the NYPD followed me to Newark yesterday so I decided to follow them. And they led me to you. So here we are." He stopped just a few feet infront of her and looked down. "Just you and me, here… in this apartment." He crouched so his eyes were level with hers, "Anything could happen." As realisation dawned on her, he laughed loudly in her face before standing and walking back toward his bags. "I just popped down to the shops babe, realised we were out of milk." His voice had taken on a more conversational tone and he proceeded to empty the bags. Indeed they were full of groceries and John went on to fill the cupboards of the kitchenette as he went. Olivia stayed on the couch, unable to pull herself up yet but also unsure of where she would go if she did stand. As the after-effects of the drug wore off, her razor sharp senses were returning. Ignoring John's monotonous conversation, her mind began to tick over as she weighed up her options. Suddenly her attention returned to her husband as he emptied the last item and spoke directly toward her. "And of course there's this." John lifted the black object up for Olivia to see as he strode forward and placed it on the coffee table. "Changes everything, don't you think?" Olivia dropped her gaze to the gun and smiled.

"Not at all." She looked back up to find John grinning at her, "Not. At. All." John's smile soured as he turned on his heel to finish clearing the counter top. "So John…" Olivia called across the room. John dropped the cloth he was using and turned back to his wife. She waited until he had started walking back toward her before she continued. "That girl in Newark, outside the Hilton Hotel, that was you?" John sank back into the armchair directly across from Olivia and she followed suit. He studied her before replying.

"Yeah. That was me." Olivia nodded and paused.

"Clever." John frowned slightly. "Oh don't get me wrong, what you did to that woman, how you left her in a bin, it sickens me. But you covered your tracks, you didn't leave a trail. No one knows it was you." A small smile crept across John's face at the compliments.

"It was all for you babe, everything I have done has been leading up to this. To me and you." Olivia nodded. Silence surrounded them as John basked in the compliments and Olivia considered her next move. She had been trained in hostage negotiation, although she was loathe to call herself a hostage considering nobody else was present and the gun still lay on the table between them.

"So what happens next?" John blinked and cleared his throat.

"You want to know what I'm going to do to you?" Olivia hesitated before nodding again. John chuckled.

"Okay then. First you're going to strip before I tie you to the bed, then I will fuck you so hard you won't know what is happening. All of a sudden, your throat will constrict. You will find it harder and harder to breathe. The darkness will begin to creep into the corners of your vision, your pulse will increase and your head will pound as it tries to get as much oxygen as it possibly can until… he paused and looked up at Olivia. Her face stayed flat and emotionless but the increased movements of her chest gave away the fear his description was inducing. He gazed into her unflinching eyes and finished, "I shall be the last thing you see." He sat back in his chair and continued to look at her.

"How… exciting." Her voice matched her poker face, flat and emotionless. _She's good_, he thought. _But I'll soon break her._

"I knew you'd enjoy it. It's your… thing." Her eyebrows flinched slightly and he took it as his cue to continue. "Stabler and Amaro, they're the anger. The boiling blood. The bull in a china shop. The guy who dreams of killing the perp." Olivia's eyebrows deepened again as she remembered a long ago conversation with Elliot. "Tutuola, he's the comedy. Acts like he knows what he's doing but really, he hasn't a clue. Only useful if you need something on the DL. Rollins is the pretty face, the one they broadcast to the outside world. A bit dim, out of her depth up here in the North but paddling along, trying to find her place." Olivia's breathing quickened as he insulted her colleagues but she managed to keep her face straight as John continued. "Cragen's only there because the powers that be can't find anyone stupid enough to take you lot on and Munch ensures you don't get hit with an age discrimination suit." John smiled as he finished and leant forward. Taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, Olivia leant forward as well. Only a foot of air sat between them. "But you. You're different. You're so different from all the others. You want to know _why. _Why did I rape and murder ten other women before I got to you? Why did my last victim look so similar to you? Why did I bring you to my apartment and not some warehouse on the riverbank? You want to get inside my head and figure out my next move so you can counter it." Olivia allowed her lips to tug upwards at his accurate analysis but they quickly dropped as he snorted.

"Well I'm sorry _sweetheart_ but you're gonna be dead before you get any answers out of me." He stood and grabbed the gun. Olivia, forgetting the previous weakness in her knees and legs as adrenalin coursed through her, stood as well.

"Why the gun John?" he rounded the chair so he was facing her again from the other side before replying.

"Insurance. So that none of your silly detective pals would get any bright ideas and try to get in here to rescue you." Olivia stepped aside so she was clear of the coffee table but stopped as John shifted the gun to his other hand.

"How do you know anybody's going to come and rescue me? As far as they know I'm still asleep in the crib." John laughed harshly.

"It's half past four in the afternoon darling, I think they would've noticed your disappearance by now. After all, they are the NYPD's finest." Olivia nodded once.

"But out of all the apartments in Manhattan, how do they know I'm in this one?" John smiled again. "Because I have this." He opened the nearest drawer of the side table and took out a police radio scanner. "About half an hour ago they traced a live stream of mine to this apartment." Glancing down at his watch, John continued, "They should be here any minute." As if on cue, an array of sirens could be heard, getting closer and closer before stopping directly below the apartment windows. "And here they are. Perfect." The sirens stopped but the flashing lights continued to light up the walls of the apartment. John's gaze was turned toward the window, his eyes glazed over as blue and red alternated across his face. Olivia saw her chance and, crossing the room in two large strides, took John's face in her hands and crashed her lips against his. He instantly froze beneath her, taken by surprise at the sudden, unexpected contact, before relaxing into her. Sliding her arms up, Olivia wrapped them around his neck. John's hand left the scanner and snaked around her waist, pulling her closer and forcing her to deepen the kiss. Plunging his tongue into her mouth, she had no option but to allow his exploration. Allowing him a couple of seconds and feeling his arms relax ever so slightly more as he drank in the power he was gaining over her, she lifted her right foot off the floor and, slowly so as not to distract his attention, aligned it beneath him. Pulling up hard, her kneecap connected with the hardening tissue between John's legs and he broke contact, yowling loudly and collapsing to the floor as his gun free hand flew toward the source of the pain. "BITCH!" Olivia laughed as she stepped over him and toward the door.

"Is that the best you can do?" John growled and reached out from his curled position on the floor. Seeing his arm extending Olivia took another larger step backward. Now out of his reach, she crouched before him. "These days I would take that as a compliment." John tried to stretch his body out so her could reach further but groaned again as the movement sent needles of intense pain to his groin. "And I have a feeling that plan of yours is going to have to wait a few weeks. I don't think you're going to be quite… up to it." Olivia chuckled and stood, stepping back again so her back was now flush with the door. John growled at the joke and as Olivia turned to open the apartment door, he lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.


	10. Chapter 10

Elliot was the first to move forward, impeded only by the hand gripping his upper arm.

"Don't be stupid El." Fin pulled him back so he was stood with the other SVU detectives. Cragen gave him a warning glance before turning to the negotiator who had emerged just as the gunshot had sounded.

"What can we do?"

"Well I'm setting up the phone as we speak. I assume he has one of the weapons stolen from Detective Clarke's apartment?" Cragen nodded.

"As far as we know, that's the only ones he has access to."

"Okay, we have armed response on their way and snipers being set up on the roofs across the park." Cragen nodded again.

"But what can we do?"  
"Nothing at the moment. Just sit tight and I'll come and get you." The negotiator left the group and re-entered the Control Unit.

"Fucking useless. They're all fucking useless."

"El they're just doing their jobs. We'll get her out of there." Elliot turned on Fin.

"Did you not hear what I just heard? Can you not see the glass over there? She could be lying up there bleeding out and we're sat here waiting for him to set up a fucking phone line." Elliot paced backward and forward infront of the van, anger radiating from him. "There's got to be something we can do."

"You heard her Stabler. She'll call if she needs us. I know we aren't doing but she knows how to handle this and she knows what to do." Elliot turned to the older man who peered over his glasses with a knowing look. "If I know anything, I know Olivia and I know she'll survive this." Elliot smiled appreciatively before reaching down to his belt and pulling out the revolver. Making to hand it over, Munch held out a hand. "Keep it. Y'know… just in case."

"Thank you." Munch shrugged and smiled before returning to the other detectives and leaving Elliot to hide his gun again.

The door to the Control Unit opened once more.

"The line's set up. Do you want to listen in?" All present nodded eagerly and filed into the van. Crowding around the phone, the negotiator dialled the number and pressed speaker. The phone rang for a couple of seconds before it was picked up.

"Hello?" The voice was tentative but strong and undoubtedly female.

"Hello my name is Julie and I'm your negotiator. Who am I speaking to?"

"Detective Olivia Clarke."

"Okay Detective, are you hurt?" Silence filled the line before,

"No, the bullet grazed my shoulder but I'll be fine." All present let out a breath of relief.

"Okay, can you tell me who else is present?" Olivia hesitated.

"My husband. John Clarke."

"Okay, is he hurt?" a quiet chuckle could be heard followed by an indiscernible growl and then,

"No."

"Okay. Is John there?"

"Yes."

"Would he like to speak to me?" a slight pause then,

"No."

"Okay. Can you ask him if he needs anything? Food, a drink, cigarettes?" A quiet mumble then a laugh and then.

"He says no but thank you for the kind offer."

"Okay." The negotiator paused. "Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"I would really like to talk to your husband. Do you think you could get him to talk to me, even if it's just for a few minutes?" Another mumble as Olivia repeated what the negotiator had said before,

"I'm sorry, he is still saying no." The negotiator sighed.

"Okay, that's okay. How are you feeling Olivia?" Silence followed, dragging on for so long the detectives thought she had hung up before,

"I'm fine." The negotiator nodded, happy with the answer and ignoring the glances between the detectives over her head.

"Okay. Can we keep the line open?" Mumbling and then,

"So you can listen in on our _private_ conversations? I don't think so. You've already interrupted us once, don't call again." And with the that the dial tone sounded indicating he had hung up.

"Shit." The negotiator redialled the number but was met with:

"The person you have dialled is unavailable. Please try again."

"Shit, shit, shit." She threw down her headset and stood up. Turning, she addressed the officers currently sat at computers behind the small group. "Okay, what have we got?" A man on the far end answered.

"Snipers have eye, she was sat on an armchair the entire time and he was lying on the floor. Neither has been seriously wounded from the single gunshot. Snipers are ready on your word ma'am." The negotiator nodded, satisfied and exited the van to find and update the Captain of the armed response unit. The detectives were left in the silence of the van. None of them spoke. The silence thickened with every passing second as tensions and anxiety mounted between them until it was cut by the trill of a ringing telephone. The detectives looked to the two men sat behind them but neither had noticed the ringing. Either that or it wasn't their place to pick it up. Cragen opened the door of the van but returned shaking his head.

"I can't see her out there." The six adults looked uneasily at each other. The phone needed to be picked up. Taking decisive action, Nick reached forward but was beaten by a larger, much stronger hand that grasped the receiver and took it off the hook, pressing the speaker button at the same time.

"Hello?" Elliot's rough voice the complete opposite of Julie's gentle tones.

"Who am I speaking to? What happened to Julie?"

"She stepped out; I'm your negotiator now." John chuckled down the line.

"I see." He paused. "You must be Elliot yes?"

"Yes."

"I hope you don't mind my saying so but you're a pretty shit partner." John laughed, hiding the low growl that emanated deep from within Elliot.

"Where's Olivia?"

"Deflect the conversation away from you, good… She's here."

"I want to speak to her."

"I'm afraid she's a little…ahem…tied up right now." Over the line Elliot could hear John trying to suppress his laughter and fail miserably as the line was filled with a loud crackling as he whole-heartedly laughed at his own joke. It was during this noise that Julie returned, her face darkening as she realised what was happening. She opened her mouth but was quickly silenced by all present as the line quietened and John continued. "The nice lady before asked me if I wanted anything and I've decided I do." John paused expectantly and Elliot filled the gap.

"What would you like?"

"You."

Silence followed as the detectives gasped slightly. Julie pushed her way through them, trying to catch Elliot's eye as she signed for him to stop the conversation immediately. However, Elliot's gaze was pinned to the wall directly in front of him. After half a minute of silence he responded.

"Okay."

"Be at the door in five minutes. Unarmed." The line went dead. Nobody spoke as they watched Elliot drag himself from which ever dark place his latest conversation had taken him. Confident he had returned, Julie was the first to speak.

"What the hell do you think you were playing at? Answering the phone like that. You are unqualified and inexperienced and god knows what could have happened had you said the wrong word. She could have been shot and-"

"But she wasn't was she? He spoke. I listened. End of." Elliot pushed past a now staggered Julie and exited the van. He strode over to the police tape, closely followed by the others. Turning as he reached it, Elliot removed the gun from where he had stuffed it into his waistband earlier. Ignoring the searing glare from Cragen, he handed it over to Munch who, this time, took it and placed it back into its holster. Saying nothing, Elliot turned and ducked underneath the tape before stepping up to the door and ringing the buzzer next to .

**I'm finished school now so hopefully I'll be able to write and post the end of this ASAP. Please review it though, I love hearing what you think and don't be afraid to criticise. I can only improve if you tell me what needs improving.**


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